Bonjour

Bonjour

Good morning,
Hey, I mean it, I want you to have a very good and lovely morning
A morning filled with beauty.
But, my friend, did you look at the beauty of the trees along your way to work?
If not, please start to do so, because truly, I want you to have a good morning,
filled with beauty.
A morning filled with love.
But, my friend, did you find the love in your heart this morning and make a few
flowery phrases with it to shower a few loving sentences on your spouse, or on
your children or on your parents?
If not please give them a quick call, give them a few loving words, because
I want you to have really a good morning filled with love.

Troubles and blessings

Sometimes the escalator of life,  that is meant to bring us to a higher level of living, seems to have stopped working. We try to step up, but each step seems increasingly difficult and sometimes it seems that the escalator of life is moving in the wrong direction.
Sometimes it starts with one nasty thing happening in the morning and then another nasty thing happening later on the day. And our life seems in turmoil. We start getting upset and angry and frustrated. Surely these feelings are appropriate in response to what sometimes is happening to us.
But then, sometimes we allow these feelings to become the masters of our life. I mean that these feelings will determine our next action. If we give up control over our next action; let negative feelings make decisions on what we do next, we may sit in a downward spiral and more nastiness may come our way.

The trick is, I think, to allow these feelings to come, recognize them, accept them but then not to allow them to become masters. This may sound easier said than done, unless we have the habit of looking at the balance

When we wake up and get out of bed, walk to the kitchen and have breakfast, get our shower and put on our clothes a thousand miraculously good things have already happened in our life. We slept, we have a bed, we can walk, we can see, we can eat, we have food, we have a kitchen, we have running water, we understand the importance of cleanliness,... Miracle after miracle has happened already in the first 30 minutes of our day. Then, still I did not mention the wonder of the trees outside of my window, and the sound of the birds and grass and the beauty of the morning sky.
If only we manage to aware at any time in our life, of these fantastic things happening, and manage to put them in the weighing scale on the side of good things, the few nasty things, even if they are quite big, may not carry enough weight to make the balance tilt to their side of bad things.
Here I do not deny that catastrophes do happen and sometimes life may really put some of us in extremely difficult situations. But the above is more about our day to day troubles which are often much smaller than our day to day blessings.
If we become more aware of all the good in our life, become truly grateful for all these good things, it will be easier not to let negative feelings become the master of our life. It will be easier to maintain a positive attitude, keep being fully in charge of our decisions about our next actions.

The big discovery

Have you discovered the biggest discovery regarding human happiness?
Kindness is happiness
Receiving kindness makes you happy
Giving kindness makes you doubly happy

I wish you lots of happiness
I wish you lots of lots of double happiness 💖😃

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Foundation

"Stupid!"

Whenever I say this word,

my ego feels superior

but my soul is not at peace

My ego feels clever

but my heart is like a mess

A superior and clever ego 

does not make me happy

A soul and heart at peace does

While all of us do perhaps ten stupid things in a day, we do also a hundred good and wise things. If we manage to look systematically for the good in others, we are capable of finding a sea, an abundant ocean of good things. Managing to focus on and rejoice in the good of others, is what gives us peace of mind and that is the foundation of happiness, something we all tend to want sooooo much.

The ripple

This is the story of an old auntie.

My auntie Netje (Antoinette) is having diabetes since many years. More than 20 years ago her right leg had to be amputated and ever since, she has some phantom pains; and of course walking with a prosthetic leg is not a very easy thing to do.

Whenever we go back to my home town, we try to visit her and bring her out from her apartment to visit some nice place or more often, other relatives or friends. On one of these outings we were on a visit to my cousin's place. Her husband is very good at gardening and has a small vegetable garden at the back of his yard, of which he is rightfully very proud. So on that sunny afternoon we had a wonderful cup of coffee with a delicious piece of cake from he local bakery. After that the husband of my cousin invited us all to see his vegetable garden.

While we were there, my auntie had waited on a bench facing a  beautiful stretch of grass. My son who must have been about ten years old time, had also not followed the rest of us and had plucked some daisies and dandelions from the grass for my auntie Netje.

We did not know about this and my auntie kept it as a happy secret in her heart. That is until some months later during another visit to our home town, when she said to me: Johan (My son) is the sweetest boy I have ever known. It took me a bit by surprise, not because he is not sweet but people do not often give compliments like this. I said: why? And the above story came out.

Until now, perhaps twelve years later, she still has a very special soft place in her heart for Johan. Whenever I call her or see her, she asks about him. If he comes along to meet her, the two of them are like the closest friends imaginable. My son loves her, and she loves my son. A small deed, a small attentive little random kind act creating a ripple of lasting happiness.

Can you imagine? Such a small act, and so much happiness, for my auntie, for my son, for me and my wife, for anyone who hears this wonderful story. A ripple, becoming a wave and if you and your friends share this story over a cup of coffee or it inspires you pluck some flowers for an old and lonely lady, the ripple, the wave, may become a tsunami of kindness enveloping the whole world... :)

Victims of ads

I just came back from a walk through the city.
On the most busy streets, so many cafes.
Each attracts large numbers of customers,
consuming the alcohol loaded beverages,
sold at prices that dazzle.

A study showed that teens consumed much
and here 'much' really means MUCH,
more alcoholic drinks, the more they had seen ads for them

Advertising is so successful because so much money is involved.
They use the most advanced psychological manipulative techniques
to spoil the minds of our youngsters AND the minds of us.

No one who is regularly consuming alcohol considers themselves
the victim of the ad industry. Most of us perhaps even do not remember
the actual ads, but science shows that the ads are very effective
and the sad thing is that truth, science and wellbeing of customers
plays absolutely no role in the construction of the ads:
ONLY: how can we help to sell more product at the highest possible price?

It is quite a sad sight to see teenagers drunk, giving up a large chunk of their thinking capacity, endangering themselves and others in traffic more than necessary, and sacrificing most of the next day's good feelings for unnecessary hangovers.

It is sad to see middle age people do the same. It is sad to see old people to the same.

Why they do it? Somehow the ads are responsible.
Indoctrination of people with false ideas that this or that alcoholic drink will bring them happiness and friendship is a blatant lie. It will bring light-headedness,  danger and hangovers. Hardly any ingredients for happiness. On top it, addictions always lurks. Most people think they are immune to addiction. The fact is that they are not.

I am not sure whether there is such a thing as responsible advertising. But there is a need for the wisest among us to use as much of psychology for reaching adolescents and adults with messages truly inspiring and truly leading a path on which happiness is easy to find.We have to expose the falsehoods in messages used for advertising and popularize simple truths in the most powerful ways

A net filled with fish

I like the story of the wise man who went to fish into the deep sea. He cast his nets and when he lifted his nets, they were filled with fish. All were small fish except one really big fish. Without a thought, he cast all small fish back into the water but kept the big fish.

This story can have so many interpretations, but the way I see it:
If we read the books of wisdom, the scriptures, there are so many words.
But the truly wise will be able to recognize the big message, the main wisdom
and all small fish, which may have value of their own, become redundant

in the face of the main message(s).

A few examples:
 The huge miracles we experience on a daily basis versus the small irritating frustrations. How often do we allow small fishes to dominate our day, our feelings and our life, while we ignore the magnificence of a sunrise, of the trees we pass, of the friendship, of our own vision, of the many kindnesses, of our touch and hearing, and all the other miracles in our life.

The story of Genesis: so many people have been endlessly arguing and quarreling about the meaning and interpretation of each of its words. The message yet, the big fish, is so simple: All was and is and will be created by our God, that huge intelligent Power in the universe.

The story of Noah: How many words have been spilled on how real or unreal the story was. The big-fish-message: even if all others seem to have lost their integrity, let that not be a reason to lose yours. No matter what, the one who keeps his integrity will benefit in the end.

The "cruelties" in the scriptures versus the main message of love and grace and forgiveness.