In a few weeks time I have to give a talk on prevention of caregiver burn out in a palliative care situation. I am not an expert in this but I have had a few ideas about what I may incorporate in the talk.
1. My experience with my dad
When my dad got demented, a nurse came everyday for his bath.
I am living in Malaysia while my dad was staying in Belgium
When he got worse, I went quite often on a 10 day visit to Belgium
just to be with him. I was for these 10 day with him for 24h.
I cherish the moments I spent with him during these days,
but they were not easy days. I had to face the regression he had undergone
since my last visit. I had to deal with his deterioration in memory,
his deterioration in behaviour.
When I was there, the nurse who came every day for his bath, was not asking
me to take over the task of bathing him while I was there. She still came.
I was so grateful for that. To bathe your father, to wash his private parts,
is a stress, it is something extra burdensome, something that would have made the visit
harder still.
Surely it is good to involve the family in the care of the patient, but if on and off,
you can go just that extra time and alleviate the family of cleaning the wound for that
one day, it may mean a lot to them, it may mean a lot in terms of prevention of burn out.
What was more, is that the nurse did it in such a great way.
He did not like his daily shower, but the nurse knew him so well and was
so friendly and optimistic with him that she was capable of doing away with his resistance.
When she came in the morning she brought so much energy with her, that the house was feeling different after her visit.
2. Listening
Sometimes all a patient or a caregiver needs is to share some of the problems with someone they can trust. Making some time to ask open ended questions and truly listen, can make an almost miraculous difference for the one that is listened to.
Or just being with them in silence. No need to talk all the time.
3. Asking for strength.
When I start my rounds, I tend to ask some strength from our Creator.
This strength is always in the air surrounding us.
We just have to open ourselves up to it.
1. My experience with my dad
When my dad got demented, a nurse came everyday for his bath.
I am living in Malaysia while my dad was staying in Belgium
When he got worse, I went quite often on a 10 day visit to Belgium
just to be with him. I was for these 10 day with him for 24h.
I cherish the moments I spent with him during these days,
but they were not easy days. I had to face the regression he had undergone
since my last visit. I had to deal with his deterioration in memory,
his deterioration in behaviour.
When I was there, the nurse who came every day for his bath, was not asking
me to take over the task of bathing him while I was there. She still came.
I was so grateful for that. To bathe your father, to wash his private parts,
is a stress, it is something extra burdensome, something that would have made the visit
harder still.
Surely it is good to involve the family in the care of the patient, but if on and off,
you can go just that extra time and alleviate the family of cleaning the wound for that
one day, it may mean a lot to them, it may mean a lot in terms of prevention of burn out.
What was more, is that the nurse did it in such a great way.
He did not like his daily shower, but the nurse knew him so well and was
so friendly and optimistic with him that she was capable of doing away with his resistance.
When she came in the morning she brought so much energy with her, that the house was feeling different after her visit.
2. Listening
Sometimes all a patient or a caregiver needs is to share some of the problems with someone they can trust. Making some time to ask open ended questions and truly listen, can make an almost miraculous difference for the one that is listened to.
Or just being with them in silence. No need to talk all the time.
3. Asking for strength.
When I start my rounds, I tend to ask some strength from our Creator.
This strength is always in the air surrounding us.
We just have to open ourselves up to it.
A sniff of breezy cool,
I’m breathing in;
Soft rays of morning
sun on my skin
A healing wave of love
flows over me
A small prayer out in
all sincerity
I am not asking for
things I miss
I only pray for peace
and bliss
Because inside there
is this certainty
That our Creator knows
what is best for me.
The Universe’s abundance
knows my need
Living a life of
purpose, pure and sweet.
No more anger, just
tuning into the energy
That fills my soul
with love and creativity.
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