I just saw a TED talk about how our attachment to being a good person can interfere with our potential to become better.
The premise was that all of us (or almost all) are convincing ourselves continuously that we are good persons. We truly want to be good, want to be seen as good, want to be heard as good. The problem is that we have an all or nothing perception of being a good person. Either you are good or you are not.
If someone points out a mistake that would make us a bit less good, we tend to go in a bout of 'red-zone defense' mentioning to ourselves all our donations, our help we have offered and so on. So rather than analyzing and learning from our mistakes when pointed out, we go in full defense mode and try to find a thousand excuses.
The speaker suggested we all perceive ourselves as goodish, being aware that good is a quality like strength. From each, you can have only a bit, a bit more, a moderate amount, a whole lot and everything in between. None of us have absolute strength or absolute goodness.
By being aware of that, we can keep an aim in front of our eyes to build on that goodish-ness. We make mistakes and it may cost a lot emotionally or psychologically to other persons or to ourselves, but this awareness will prevent us from finding excuses and accept that we are not perfect and then we can reflect better and learn from our mistakes.
So let's be goodish. Know we are far from perfect but with every accepted mistake that we reflect on, we can become more and more goodish and who knows, maybe one day truly good :)
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If you are in need of something more than an inspiring quote but do not have time to read books or long pieces, the solution may be here: I have written a few short essays on good things. Please click here if you want to read them
If you feel OK with quotes alone, I have also a place where I keep some original inspirational quotes
https://quotesfromhans.blogspot.com/
Are your eyes hungry for some nice pictures of skies or/and flowers, I can recommend:
https://hansvro.wixsite.com/mysite-1/skies-seen-by-hans
or/and
https://hansvro.wixsite.com/flowersbyhans
The premise was that all of us (or almost all) are convincing ourselves continuously that we are good persons. We truly want to be good, want to be seen as good, want to be heard as good. The problem is that we have an all or nothing perception of being a good person. Either you are good or you are not.
If someone points out a mistake that would make us a bit less good, we tend to go in a bout of 'red-zone defense' mentioning to ourselves all our donations, our help we have offered and so on. So rather than analyzing and learning from our mistakes when pointed out, we go in full defense mode and try to find a thousand excuses.
The speaker suggested we all perceive ourselves as goodish, being aware that good is a quality like strength. From each, you can have only a bit, a bit more, a moderate amount, a whole lot and everything in between. None of us have absolute strength or absolute goodness.
By being aware of that, we can keep an aim in front of our eyes to build on that goodish-ness. We make mistakes and it may cost a lot emotionally or psychologically to other persons or to ourselves, but this awareness will prevent us from finding excuses and accept that we are not perfect and then we can reflect better and learn from our mistakes.
So let's be goodish. Know we are far from perfect but with every accepted mistake that we reflect on, we can become more and more goodish and who knows, maybe one day truly good :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you are in need of something more than an inspiring quote but do not have time to read books or long pieces, the solution may be here: I have written a few short essays on good things. Please click here if you want to read them
If you feel OK with quotes alone, I have also a place where I keep some original inspirational quotes
https://quotesfromhans.blogspot.com/
Are your eyes hungry for some nice pictures of skies or/and flowers, I can recommend:
https://hansvro.wixsite.com/mysite-1/skies-seen-by-hans
or/and
https://hansvro.wixsite.com/flowersbyhans
Thanks for the nice sharing. Truly a good concept (especially for the highly respected noble ppl in the society) for the continuous improvement of mankind
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But i miss the rule number 6 too, haha
X-D
Thanks for the lovely comment. And yes, it is funny how we tend to forget rule number six all too often :) :) :)
ReplyDeleteBy being aware ელექტრიკი გამოძახებით of that, we can keep an aim in front of our eyes to build on that goodish-ness. We make mistakes and it may cost a lot emotionally or psychologically to other persons or to ourselves.
ReplyDelete