Monday, 16 February 2015
Don't fall in love with the road
Religion is meant to be a way to bring us closer to our God.
The purpose is to help us to love our God.
This is an enjoyable journey.
Somehow, many people get a bit confused
and instead of using the road (our religion)
to get to love and get closer to our God
they fall in love with the road.
We are supposed to ride the highway to our destination
Not to fall in love with the highway and stop and get stuck to admire it
or even to go back and enjoy the sights gone by
We are supposed to use the highway
If we fall in love with it, we may detest people using other roads
Any form of hatred will slow us down tremendously.
The roads are here for us, not we are here for the road
We may be here for our God, but not for the road.
Some religious leaders and teachers want just to be seen,
position themselves in the middle of the road
and cause jams with their messages of fear and hatred.
Other religious teachers are at the side of the road,
providing us with fuel and helping us to upgrade our cars,
they spread the messages of love and kindness and help
us to move a bit faster to our lovely destination.
The way is here for us to use, to get a bit closer to our God
Let us not get stuck along the way, falling in love with the road.
The soul of the sea
This morning I stopped by at the beach.
I stopped only for a very few minutes,
but long enough to draw a few very deep breaths.
Inhaling all the beauty of the morning sun,
the morning sun reflecting in the wavy sea
I inhaled the iodium, the oxygen.
But more important still,
I inhaled the energy, the power, the soul.
The soul of the sea was in my lungs
It diffused into my being
it stayed there and gave me courage
I enjoyed its energy as it brightened my day.
I stopped only for a very few minutes,
but long enough to draw a few very deep breaths.
Inhaling all the beauty of the morning sun,
the morning sun reflecting in the wavy sea
I inhaled the iodium, the oxygen.
But more important still,
I inhaled the energy, the power, the soul.
The soul of the sea was in my lungs
It diffused into my being
it stayed there and gave me courage
I enjoyed its energy as it brightened my day.
Sunday, 15 February 2015
Calling
Today is a working day in Kelantan, the place where I work.
Yes, Sundays are working days here every week.
Our weekends are Friday and Saturday.
When I was just now reflecting on my day,
I became very grateful for my my work.
I love the work I do.
I think my work is my calling
When I was 5 years old, I wanted to be a doctor already
When I was 12 years old I wanted to do exactly what I do today
It has taken a lot of sacrifice to get here but it has been worth it, I think
Quite some time ago I wrote the following small poem on "calling"
Calling
A calling can be so strong
It makes us move away
A calling can be so strong
We move away for long
From our loved ones
We move away for long
We miss our loved ones
But our calling is so strong
We miss our loved ones
Our calling can be strong
Following our calling can hurt
But it can be oh so strong.
Following our calling can hurt
But isn't it our soul's desire?
It may be worth the hurt
Yes, Sundays are working days here every week.
Our weekends are Friday and Saturday.
When I was just now reflecting on my day,
I became very grateful for my my work.
I love the work I do.
I think my work is my calling
When I was 5 years old, I wanted to be a doctor already
When I was 12 years old I wanted to do exactly what I do today
It has taken a lot of sacrifice to get here but it has been worth it, I think
Quite some time ago I wrote the following small poem on "calling"
Calling
A calling can be so strong
It makes us move away
A calling can be so strong
We move away for long
From our loved ones
We move away for long
We miss our loved ones
But our calling is so strong
We miss our loved ones
Our calling can be strong
Following our calling can hurt
But it can be oh so strong.
Following our calling can hurt
But isn't it our soul's desire?
It may be worth the hurt
Saturday, 14 February 2015
Imagine
Imagine
Imagine you were rich
Traveling in first class
setting up a fund in your name
more money you amass
rising extremely fast to fame
Hold the image, hold on to it
enjoy the feeling of being rich
Abundance all around
keep feeling deeply rich
Rich in money, rich in thoughts
a wealth of character, a wealth of friends
Hold on to the image and feel it
-----------
Imagination does not cost money
Imagination is not tiring
It just can bring on a good feeling
Actually the world is abundant
We can live our imagination
Dare to dream and keep the dream alive
Dare to have ideals and keep them alive
Imagine you were rich
Traveling in first class
setting up a fund in your name
more money you amass
rising extremely fast to fame
Hold the image, hold on to it
enjoy the feeling of being rich
Abundance all around
keep feeling deeply rich
Rich in money, rich in thoughts
a wealth of character, a wealth of friends
Hold on to the image and feel it
-----------
Imagination does not cost money
Imagination is not tiring
It just can bring on a good feeling
Actually the world is abundant
We can live our imagination
Dare to dream and keep the dream alive
Dare to have ideals and keep them alive
Friday, 13 February 2015
The way up
So many times in our lives we have choices to make.
Follow the herd or take a different stance
Follow the easiest path or choose the more challenging one
Give in to desire or resist giving in now
A small lie or the truth
Actually quite some time ago I wrote a small poem on this.
It is titled our choice:
Follow the herd or take a different stance
Follow the easiest path or choose the more challenging one
Give in to desire or resist giving in now
A small lie or the truth
Actually quite some time ago I wrote a small poem on this.
It is titled our choice:
Walking on a hot and scorching day
We meet a splitting of the way
A way downwards looking shady, some trees are there
A way upwards, sandy without trees, just looking bare
Somewhere deep inside we know
The downwards shady path goes low
And down that place, there is no tree
Just heat and sweat and more ennui
Somewhere deep inside we are aware
That the way up, though initially a little bare
Will bring us to a place with lots of shade and big relief
It is God’s way, so I believe
Shall we choose the way below with instant pleasure?
Leading down to a place of heat, we cannot measure
Or shall we make little effort on the upper way?
And enjoy shade and breeze day by day
Aufie Zophy (the author name I use)
The downwards shady path goes low
And down that place, there is no tree
Just heat and sweat and more ennui
Somewhere deep inside we are aware
That the way up, though initially a little bare
Will bring us to a place with lots of shade and big relief
It is God’s way, so I believe
Shall we choose the way below with instant pleasure?
Leading down to a place of heat, we cannot measure
Or shall we make little effort on the upper way?
And enjoy shade and breeze day by day
Aufie Zophy (the author name I use)
Thursday, 12 February 2015
Support
Today I was speaking with parents of a preterm baby.
They were very young parents.
I was going on about the need for expressed breast milk,
the risk of infection and suddenly realized that the messages did not sink in.
What they needed was support.
Perhaps they did not get the support from home.
Perhaps they did not get support from friends.
But that was what they needed.
They needed support more than information.
So I tried to change my tone; my intention changed.
It changed from empathetic informing to compassionate support.
The situation became almost instantly less tense.
I think that we parted as friends.
I don't think my information was conveyed successfully,
but I think we had meant something for each other
and isn't that what really counts?
They were very young parents.
I was going on about the need for expressed breast milk,
the risk of infection and suddenly realized that the messages did not sink in.
What they needed was support.
Perhaps they did not get the support from home.
Perhaps they did not get support from friends.
But that was what they needed.
They needed support more than information.
So I tried to change my tone; my intention changed.
It changed from empathetic informing to compassionate support.
The situation became almost instantly less tense.
I think that we parted as friends.
I don't think my information was conveyed successfully,
but I think we had meant something for each other
and isn't that what really counts?
Monday, 2 February 2015
The silent river
The silent river
feeds water in abundance
to the restless sea
(Aufie Zophy)
I love the above Haiku.
looks like giving brings peace
receiving leaves one thirsty for ever more...
feeds water in abundance
to the restless sea
(Aufie Zophy)
I love the above Haiku.
looks like giving brings peace
receiving leaves one thirsty for ever more...
Saturday, 31 January 2015
Hell
In so many sects gullible young people are threatened with hell fire if they do not as the preacher preaches. Please my brothers and sisters, do not believe a preacher who is talking half of the time about hell and most of the other half about paradise. Do not fall for such hypocrisy.
No preacher will ever have any say in
who or why someone will go to hell.
If he has to resort to such threats to make his message powerful,
the true power of his message is highly likely to be minuscule.
Sadly these things happen not only in small sects but also in big religions.
If a preacher starts talking about hell, we can safely conclude that we have to take the rest of what he says with a huge grain of salt.
No preacher will ever have any say in
who or why someone will go to hell.
If he has to resort to such threats to make his message powerful,
the true power of his message is highly likely to be minuscule.
Sadly these things happen not only in small sects but also in big religions.
If a preacher starts talking about hell, we can safely conclude that we have to take the rest of what he says with a huge grain of salt.
Harmony
I am dreaming of harmony
Harmony in the world
Harmony in my country
Harmony in my city
Harmony in my family
Harmony within my heart
For now it still just a dream
One day, I hope, reality.
Harmony in the world
Harmony in my country
Harmony in my city
Harmony in my family
Harmony within my heart
For now it still just a dream
One day, I hope, reality.
Prayer
Prayer to many people is one way talk to God, done in order to please God.
Truth is that we cannot please God.
It sounds like supreme arrogance if we believe that God
could be affected in any way by any of our actions.
Only God can affect us, only God can please us.
Prayer is a gift of God to us that allows us to be a bit closer to God.
It is essentially something we do for ourselves.
If we pray quietly with our heart and mind and soul,
it has a wonderful effect on our lives.
It brings peace, bliss, love in our lives.
Not that God is suddenly sending these things to us from somewhere far away.
We are continuously literally bathing in peace, love and bliss
All we have to do is open our hearts and open our souls,
let it all flow in and act.
Prayer is meant to help us tune in, tune in to the love and peace that is around us at all time.
If I read Al Fatihah (part of the Muslim prayer) and think deeply about the meaning, one cannot but feel but more peaceful, loving and blissful after it.
If one reads our Father (Christian prayer), the meaning of the words in it are amazingly similar and if one thinks deep about the meaning , one cannot feel but more peaceful, loving and blissful
I am sure the same goes for the prayers in other religions.
Let us upgrade our prayers from just reciting mindlessly something we learned by heart many years ago, to giving some deep thoughts about the meaning of these words we have memorized, let the meaning soak into our hearts and souls and let it change us for the better.
Truth is that we cannot please God.
It sounds like supreme arrogance if we believe that God
could be affected in any way by any of our actions.
Only God can affect us, only God can please us.
Prayer is a gift of God to us that allows us to be a bit closer to God.
It is essentially something we do for ourselves.
If we pray quietly with our heart and mind and soul,
it has a wonderful effect on our lives.
It brings peace, bliss, love in our lives.
Not that God is suddenly sending these things to us from somewhere far away.
We are continuously literally bathing in peace, love and bliss
All we have to do is open our hearts and open our souls,
let it all flow in and act.
Prayer is meant to help us tune in, tune in to the love and peace that is around us at all time.
If I read Al Fatihah (part of the Muslim prayer) and think deeply about the meaning, one cannot but feel but more peaceful, loving and blissful after it.
If one reads our Father (Christian prayer), the meaning of the words in it are amazingly similar and if one thinks deep about the meaning , one cannot feel but more peaceful, loving and blissful
I am sure the same goes for the prayers in other religions.
Let us upgrade our prayers from just reciting mindlessly something we learned by heart many years ago, to giving some deep thoughts about the meaning of these words we have memorized, let the meaning soak into our hearts and souls and let it change us for the better.
Thursday, 29 January 2015
Every day
Every day, every day can be a beautiful day.
every day, every day
Everyday counts a full 1440 minutes
An infinite number of things can happen in 1440 minutes
An infinite number of thoughts can cross our minds
An infinite number of good deeds
An infinite number of inspiring words can be spoken
Isn't it a sin, that so many people
waste so many days?
every day, every day
Everyday counts a full 1440 minutes
An infinite number of things can happen in 1440 minutes
An infinite number of thoughts can cross our minds
An infinite number of good deeds
An infinite number of inspiring words can be spoken
Isn't it a sin, that so many people
waste so many days?
Searching
I once read this wonderful quote:
If you go searching for love
you may be loveless.
If you 're loveless
you will never find love.
Only the loving find love
and they never have to search for it.
At first sight the above may be a bit difficult to understand.
When thinking a bit deeper, it becomes so logical
If you go searching for love
you may be loveless.
If you 're loveless
you will never find love.
Only the loving find love
and they never have to search for it.
At first sight the above may be a bit difficult to understand.
When thinking a bit deeper, it becomes so logical
Tuesday, 27 January 2015
Equality is not equity
Are we all equal?
Surely not.
Do we want all to be equal
Surely not
We can work for equity, which implies fairness and justice.
equality is not always fair and just as illustrated in the image below:
Some leaders like to talk about equality for the staff, as an excuse not to give privileges to the higher ranking staff. Often these bosses themselves have a long list of privileges themselves they tend to enjoy on a daily basis.
Whenever I encounter such a situation, I think about the quote from the famous book, animal farm:
"All animals are equal except the pigs"The animals had taken over the farm after chasing away the farmer who was abusing them. Everyone seemed to be united and the slogan was that all animals were equal. The pigs who had led the revolution took on a leadership position. Soon they claimed privileges not very different from what the farmer was doing and after they had become actually worse than the farmer, the slogan was changed: all animals are equal except the pigs.
When I hear leaders of today denying people privileges in the name of equality while hanging on their own privileges like a fool, that phrase keeps propping up in my mind. Thank God we are not equal. We are all so different. Too often equality is confused with equity which is a very different thing.
Wise people tend to be full of doubt, because they know the truth is so complex
Dumb people are sure of what they think and are extremely loud and tend to take on the leadership positions.
The world is changing fast however. Sooner rather than later the service to humanity of the wise will be so obviously great that the dumb will have no choice but to follow.
Surely not.
Do we want all to be equal
Surely not
We can work for equity, which implies fairness and justice.
equality is not always fair and just as illustrated in the image below:
Some leaders like to talk about equality for the staff, as an excuse not to give privileges to the higher ranking staff. Often these bosses themselves have a long list of privileges themselves they tend to enjoy on a daily basis.
Whenever I encounter such a situation, I think about the quote from the famous book, animal farm:
"All animals are equal except the pigs"The animals had taken over the farm after chasing away the farmer who was abusing them. Everyone seemed to be united and the slogan was that all animals were equal. The pigs who had led the revolution took on a leadership position. Soon they claimed privileges not very different from what the farmer was doing and after they had become actually worse than the farmer, the slogan was changed: all animals are equal except the pigs.
When I hear leaders of today denying people privileges in the name of equality while hanging on their own privileges like a fool, that phrase keeps propping up in my mind. Thank God we are not equal. We are all so different. Too often equality is confused with equity which is a very different thing.
Wise people tend to be full of doubt, because they know the truth is so complex
Dumb people are sure of what they think and are extremely loud and tend to take on the leadership positions.
The world is changing fast however. Sooner rather than later the service to humanity of the wise will be so obviously great that the dumb will have no choice but to follow.
Sunday, 25 January 2015
A restful mind
the sounds of the sea
are softly soothing my soul;
I try to stop the thoughts train
just for awhile;I close my eyes;
a healing energy flows though me;
a dose of liveliness
is injected in my tired heart;
the train of thoughts
seems a bit impatient to start back:
But I pray for silence
I pray for peace
and only one word
keeps propping up
in my restful mind:
Kindness
are softly soothing my soul;
I try to stop the thoughts train
just for awhile;I close my eyes;
a healing energy flows though me;
a dose of liveliness
is injected in my tired heart;
the train of thoughts
seems a bit impatient to start back:
But I pray for silence
I pray for peace
and only one word
keeps propping up
in my restful mind:
Kindness
Saturday, 24 January 2015
More love
More love
Love may be the best medicine,
the best vitamin, the best herb
Much more love is needed in the world.
Like one famous song says:
We have enough mountains to climb,
enough rivers and oceans to cross.
What we need now is much more love.
Where to get that so much needed love?
We were born with heart full of it,
a river that keeps flowing
from an inexhaustible source.
If we decide to give some of it away
the universe is ready with a double dose
to fill everything up again.
the problem is that the flow of love is blocked
the flow of love is obstructed
by the sandbanks of greed
the sandbanks of self-importance
the self-banks of narcissism
If we just manage to bulldoze one of these sandbanks away,
the accumulated love behind the banks will cause a flood
A flood of love, a flood of kindness
Our whole world will be flooded, flooded by love
a wonderful giant wave of love and peace.
Love may be the best medicine,
the best vitamin, the best herb
Much more love is needed in the world.
Like one famous song says:
We have enough mountains to climb,
enough rivers and oceans to cross.
What we need now is much more love.
Where to get that so much needed love?
We were born with heart full of it,
a river that keeps flowing
from an inexhaustible source.
If we decide to give some of it away
the universe is ready with a double dose
to fill everything up again.
the problem is that the flow of love is blocked
the flow of love is obstructed
by the sandbanks of greed
the sandbanks of self-importance
the self-banks of narcissism
If we just manage to bulldoze one of these sandbanks away,
the accumulated love behind the banks will cause a flood
A flood of love, a flood of kindness
Our whole world will be flooded, flooded by love
a wonderful giant wave of love and peace.
Wednesday, 21 January 2015
Daily love
Every day,
some love
comes our way
Every day
some beauty
comes our way
But in every street
there are some people
consumed by greed
They do not see
they do not feel
the daily love and beauty
some love
comes our way
Every day
some beauty
comes our way
But in every street
there are some people
consumed by greed
They do not see
they do not feel
the daily love and beauty
Saturday, 17 January 2015
Family
When I got my two sons, I had one aim in mind: to become the best father ever.
Now, 18 years later, I don't think I am even near to that
But the fire for my children is still burning inside.
Sure enough I have made mistakes in parenting
Sure enough
But the will and longing to still be the best father ever is still very much alive
Alive in my heart, in my mind, in my soul.
I pray that I may start doing things a bit more right
that I can give unconditional love without pampering too much
I know unconditional love is the way
but I know also now that unconditional love is not the same as giving everything they long for
Values, I have to teach more values,
Oh, my God, I do hope and pray it is not too late to teach my children more values.
Teaching values while practicing unconditional love...
I hope I can.
I hope so much to still be the best father to them.
While I was walking on the beach just now,
I was wondering why I had failed so badly in parenting
But then the thought came to my mind:
On calm seas every captain is a good captain.
It is on rough seas one can distinguish good from not so good captains
I truly hope that I can bring after quite a stormy ride, the ship still safely in a beautiful harbor.
Now, 18 years later, I don't think I am even near to that
But the fire for my children is still burning inside.
Sure enough I have made mistakes in parenting
Sure enough
But the will and longing to still be the best father ever is still very much alive
Alive in my heart, in my mind, in my soul.
I pray that I may start doing things a bit more right
that I can give unconditional love without pampering too much
I know unconditional love is the way
but I know also now that unconditional love is not the same as giving everything they long for
Values, I have to teach more values,
Oh, my God, I do hope and pray it is not too late to teach my children more values.
Teaching values while practicing unconditional love...
I hope I can.
I hope so much to still be the best father to them.
While I was walking on the beach just now,
I was wondering why I had failed so badly in parenting
But then the thought came to my mind:
On calm seas every captain is a good captain.
It is on rough seas one can distinguish good from not so good captains
I truly hope that I can bring after quite a stormy ride, the ship still safely in a beautiful harbor.
Tuesday, 13 January 2015
Cleaning
Today,
I enjoyed my breakfast.
I loved the ride to work.
I took pride in my visit to the ethics committee.
I was enthralled by my small group discussion session with my students.
I delighted in my lunch meeting with pizza.
I liked the role play of my students.
I was pleased with my interactive teaching session on ethics.
I loved the ride home.
But most of all,
I loved, enjoyed and adored cleaning the beach with my son
in front of an amazing sky above the South China Sea.
I enjoyed my breakfast.
I loved the ride to work.
I took pride in my visit to the ethics committee.
I was enthralled by my small group discussion session with my students.
I delighted in my lunch meeting with pizza.
I liked the role play of my students.
I was pleased with my interactive teaching session on ethics.
I loved the ride home.
But most of all,
I loved, enjoyed and adored cleaning the beach with my son
in front of an amazing sky above the South China Sea.
Sunday, 4 January 2015
Boarding
I do know parents who like to send their children to prestigious boarding schools.
They believe in the necessity of this for their future education and believe that boarding schools make them truly " stand on their own legs"
Most of the time my first thought if I hear this, is: 'oh, no, does your teenager not need the warmth of home most in his or her often very challenging teenage years?'
This is at least my opinion. It may be wrong. I am sure many great achievers have come out of boarding schools. But I shiver if I hear the stories of bullying as much pitying the bullied as the the twisted personalities of the bullies.
I read a quote today that education is more like lighting a fire, rather than like filling a bucket.
Is there a better place than home to light the fire of the soul of teenagers?
They believe in the necessity of this for their future education and believe that boarding schools make them truly " stand on their own legs"
Most of the time my first thought if I hear this, is: 'oh, no, does your teenager not need the warmth of home most in his or her often very challenging teenage years?'
This is at least my opinion. It may be wrong. I am sure many great achievers have come out of boarding schools. But I shiver if I hear the stories of bullying as much pitying the bullied as the the twisted personalities of the bullies.
I read a quote today that education is more like lighting a fire, rather than like filling a bucket.
Is there a better place than home to light the fire of the soul of teenagers?
Thursday, 25 December 2014
Ego- or Soul-control
This morning,
Silence all around.
A good time for reflection
I often feel I have not a good control over my ego.
It wants to be important and goes on hurting sometimes people to achieve its aim
Please my soul, take over.
Please my God forgive my lack of control over my ego.
I wish peace and soul control for all my friends and all on earth.
Silence all around.
A good time for reflection
I often feel I have not a good control over my ego.
It wants to be important and goes on hurting sometimes people to achieve its aim
Please my soul, take over.
Please my God forgive my lack of control over my ego.
I wish peace and soul control for all my friends and all on earth.
Ignorance
It was Gandhi who said that one of the worst kind of violence is poverty.
I am not sure whether he meant only physical poverty.
Ignorance of the basic principles of life is maybe as bad a form of poverty!
Basic principles of life include:
that honesty brings peace of mind
that kindness is the chief recipe for happiness
that success without peace of mind is no success
that we do have a choice on how to look at things
and so on,
Ignorance of principles as listed above,
will lead to impoverishment in terms of happiness and peace of mind
I risk being called a dreamer, but I am quite sure that this ignorance cannot last much longer.
I am pretty sure about a vast upcoming wisdom revolution in which selfless service to one another becomes the most understood and most practised source of happiness throughout the world.
If humanity would miss out on this, humans may just destroy their own existence as a species.
I am not sure whether he meant only physical poverty.
Ignorance of the basic principles of life is maybe as bad a form of poverty!
Basic principles of life include:
that honesty brings peace of mind
that kindness is the chief recipe for happiness
that success without peace of mind is no success
that we do have a choice on how to look at things
and so on,
Ignorance of principles as listed above,
will lead to impoverishment in terms of happiness and peace of mind
I risk being called a dreamer, but I am quite sure that this ignorance cannot last much longer.
I am pretty sure about a vast upcoming wisdom revolution in which selfless service to one another becomes the most understood and most practised source of happiness throughout the world.
If humanity would miss out on this, humans may just destroy their own existence as a species.
Tuesday, 23 December 2014
Giving
A very famous saying: it is in giving that we receive.
When I was younger I thought this was just a clever paradox
Now I see it is so much more than that; it is a simple but giant truth.
If we selflessly give,
we get immediately a superb peace of mind, so big,
not even a little bit comparable to the peace of mind
that we get when we receive something precious
If we selflessly give
we will become friends with like-minded people
who if we are in need will selflessly help us too.
When I was younger I thought this was just a clever paradox
Now I see it is so much more than that; it is a simple but giant truth.
If we selflessly give,
we get immediately a superb peace of mind, so big,
not even a little bit comparable to the peace of mind
that we get when we receive something precious
If we selflessly give
we will become friends with like-minded people
who if we are in need will selflessly help us too.
Sunday, 21 December 2014
Language
Today our last day in Istanbul, Turkey.
The land of Ataturk, Erdogan and a lot of taxi drivers
I was surprised that so many taxi drivers in a major capital with so many tourists do not seem to understand even simple English.
My friend, Tan Sri Ani Arope, who is no longer among us since this morning, used to always praise people who know many languages and he was proud of his own wide range of language skills. It is so true, such a valuable lesson of the wise late Tan Sri: a language you know gives you a supreme advantage throughout your life. The more languages you know, the more job opportunities, the better your chances, the more interesting your life.
It is never too late to learn a new language. Five new words per day give you vocabulary of 1500 words after one year. Keep on practicing, keep on learning, we never know enough.
The land of Ataturk, Erdogan and a lot of taxi drivers
I was surprised that so many taxi drivers in a major capital with so many tourists do not seem to understand even simple English.
My friend, Tan Sri Ani Arope, who is no longer among us since this morning, used to always praise people who know many languages and he was proud of his own wide range of language skills. It is so true, such a valuable lesson of the wise late Tan Sri: a language you know gives you a supreme advantage throughout your life. The more languages you know, the more job opportunities, the better your chances, the more interesting your life.
It is never too late to learn a new language. Five new words per day give you vocabulary of 1500 words after one year. Keep on practicing, keep on learning, we never know enough.
Thursday, 18 December 2014
Reflection 158 (a few centuries ago)
While on a holiday in Turkey we visited the blue mosque, the Hagia sophia and the adjacent Topkapi palace. A mixture of Byzanthyne and Ottoman influences, Christianity and Islam, cathedrals converted to mosques and then into a museum with signs of both religions overwhelmingly present.
Visiting the musea attached make you aware that times were not easy, but humankind survived the most rough circumstances, managed to erect wonderful buildings and a huge body of wisdom emerged from those times gone by.
With candle light and feathers as pens, some of the sages from old were penning their deepest feelings into amazing poetry and reflections.
Sometimes I wonder when all the true wisdom and beauty from old and from anew will engulf the world and take it over completely destroying the stupidity of greed, jealousy, hatred and anger.
Visiting the musea attached make you aware that times were not easy, but humankind survived the most rough circumstances, managed to erect wonderful buildings and a huge body of wisdom emerged from those times gone by.
With candle light and feathers as pens, some of the sages from old were penning their deepest feelings into amazing poetry and reflections.
Sometimes I wonder when all the true wisdom and beauty from old and from anew will engulf the world and take it over completely destroying the stupidity of greed, jealousy, hatred and anger.
Tuesday, 16 December 2014
Reflection 157 (heart)
People do not always need advice
Sometimes they need just a hand to hold,
a pair of ears to listen to them and
a heart to understand them
I found this wonderful quote on facebook (in French) and promptly translated it and shared it.
An understanding heart is much valued.
As St. Francis said: Lord, let me try to understand
rather than to be understood.
If we try more to understand than to be understood
we will make a real positive difference in the world
and what else brings us greater peace of mind
than making a positive difference
Many of us hunger much more for appreciation than for food.
Likewise let us try to appreciate more than being appreciated
to console rather than be consoled
to love rather than be loved
Appreciation, consolation and love will land on our hearts
like butterflies on flowers
Sometimes they need just a hand to hold,
a pair of ears to listen to them and
a heart to understand them
I found this wonderful quote on facebook (in French) and promptly translated it and shared it.
An understanding heart is much valued.
As St. Francis said: Lord, let me try to understand
rather than to be understood.
If we try more to understand than to be understood
we will make a real positive difference in the world
and what else brings us greater peace of mind
than making a positive difference
Many of us hunger much more for appreciation than for food.
Likewise let us try to appreciate more than being appreciated
to console rather than be consoled
to love rather than be loved
Appreciation, consolation and love will land on our hearts
like butterflies on flowers
Monday, 15 December 2014
Reflection 156 (dream)
I am feeling sleepy
Soon I will go to bed
I anticipate a comfy sleep
I want to dream
I want to dream about my mother
I want to dream about my father
I want to dream about both
my mother and my father
They are no longer here on earth
I want to meet them tonight
in my dreams
Soon I will go to bed
I anticipate a comfy sleep
I want to dream
I want to dream about my mother
I want to dream about my father
I want to dream about both
my mother and my father
They are no longer here on earth
I want to meet them tonight
in my dreams
Saturday, 13 December 2014
Reflection 155 (teaching)
Teaching should be thoroughly enjoyable
For both the students and the teacher
This means a big responsibility for the teacher
But with a dose of empathy for the students
And a bit of teaching skills that can be readily learned
It can be achieved
If the teacher manages to truly enjoy the session
Chances are high that the students will enjoy too
For both the students and the teacher
This means a big responsibility for the teacher
But with a dose of empathy for the students
And a bit of teaching skills that can be readily learned
It can be achieved
If the teacher manages to truly enjoy the session
Chances are high that the students will enjoy too
Thursday, 11 December 2014
Reflection 154 (bulldozing your garden)
Fighting for or about religion is like
bulldozing your garden because someone stole a flower.
A small explanation:
Peace is such an important part of religion,
that giving up peace is like destroying your religion
No person can hurt an omnipotent God
Only people with limited belief will feel the hurt
They will start a fight and destroy the image of their religion in the process
by violating the principles of the huge universal driving force representing Love and Peace
Peace to all.
If our belief is really strong, it is like a garden filled to the brim with wonderful flowers
Others may try to pick some of the flowers or even step on them but the garden will be basically untouched, flowers growing back much faster than anyone could destroy them
Peace to all.
bulldozing your garden because someone stole a flower.
A small explanation:
Peace is such an important part of religion,
that giving up peace is like destroying your religion
No person can hurt an omnipotent God
Only people with limited belief will feel the hurt
They will start a fight and destroy the image of their religion in the process
by violating the principles of the huge universal driving force representing Love and Peace
Peace to all.
If our belief is really strong, it is like a garden filled to the brim with wonderful flowers
Others may try to pick some of the flowers or even step on them but the garden will be basically untouched, flowers growing back much faster than anyone could destroy them
Peace to all.
Reflection 153 (love and God)
Love and God
Not so long ago I wrote a small poem, titled Y.... Have you seen love (click-able)
Love cannot be seen, it cannot be heard, it cannot be touched and yet if we ask anyone, does love exist, they will answer, sure it does. We have no problems believing in love since we can feel it. One could ask: but love is created by humans, without humans there would be no love? Quite a superfluous thought, no one knows whether love would exist without human existence; there are so many humans in the world.
Similarly to love, no one can see, hear or touch God. And even though this is not different from love, many more people will take this as a reason not to believe in God. This is logical for those who have never felt the presence of God. People who consciously or unconsciously exclude spirituality from their lives and choose to a live a life purely based on 5 senses actually miss out on a whole dimension of life and true enough they do not experience God. Those who choose to lead a spiritual life or make spirituality part of their life will experience God and the existence of God becomes as tangible as the existence of love.... I think I am explaining too much here, perhaps we should let poetry speak for itself ...
For those believing only in our 5 senses, these 5 tend often not to be too reliable: think about rainbows, horizons, wet streets on sunny days, etc. Read also the transcendentalist by RW Emerson.
Not so long ago I wrote a small poem, titled Y.... Have you seen love (click-able)
Love cannot be seen, it cannot be heard, it cannot be touched and yet if we ask anyone, does love exist, they will answer, sure it does. We have no problems believing in love since we can feel it. One could ask: but love is created by humans, without humans there would be no love? Quite a superfluous thought, no one knows whether love would exist without human existence; there are so many humans in the world.
Similarly to love, no one can see, hear or touch God. And even though this is not different from love, many more people will take this as a reason not to believe in God. This is logical for those who have never felt the presence of God. People who consciously or unconsciously exclude spirituality from their lives and choose to a live a life purely based on 5 senses actually miss out on a whole dimension of life and true enough they do not experience God. Those who choose to lead a spiritual life or make spirituality part of their life will experience God and the existence of God becomes as tangible as the existence of love.... I think I am explaining too much here, perhaps we should let poetry speak for itself ...
For those believing only in our 5 senses, these 5 tend often not to be too reliable: think about rainbows, horizons, wet streets on sunny days, etc. Read also the transcendentalist by RW Emerson.
Monday, 8 December 2014
Reflection 152 (getting real)
Getting real
We say that our Creator is the most gracious
Let us say it again and feel it
Really feel the grace and love of our God
We say that our Creator is the most forgiving
Let us say it again and feel it
Really feel the forgiveness of our God
Let's feel it. Let us be filled, feeling Love
He filled our hearts with Love and kindness at birth
So freely to share with all around us, all the world
Free refills, whenever our love reaches a soul,
when a smile adorns the face of a child
Free refills at every prayer, every thought of God
We used to say thanks to God for He created the world
Let us say it again and feel it
Feel the thanks, the gratefulness deeply in our hearts
Feel the gratefulness for our wonderful senses
Feel the gratefulness for all the things we have
But most of all for that enormous Grace and Love
Let's feel the grace, Let us feel the forgiveness
Let's thank from truly within
Let us feel it,
Let us feel it with our mind,
Feel it with our heart
Let us feel it with our soul...
Let us say it again and feel it
Really feel the grace and love of our God
We say that our Creator is the most forgiving
Let us say it again and feel it
Really feel the forgiveness of our God
Let's feel it. Let us be filled, feeling Love
He filled our hearts with Love and kindness at birth
So freely to share with all around us, all the world
Free refills, whenever our love reaches a soul,
when a smile adorns the face of a child
Free refills at every prayer, every thought of God
We used to say thanks to God for He created the world
Let us say it again and feel it
Feel the thanks, the gratefulness deeply in our hearts
Feel the gratefulness for our wonderful senses
Feel the gratefulness for all the things we have
But most of all for that enormous Grace and Love
Let's feel the grace, Let us feel the forgiveness
Let's thank from truly within
Let us feel it,
Let us feel it with our mind,
Feel it with our heart
Let us feel it with our soul...
Reflection151 (waking up)
Waking up
When we wake up and we rejoice in the prospect of going to work...
When we wake up and we dread the prospect of going to work...
We do have a choice.
It doesn't mean that if our previous day was dreadful, today will be so too
No matter what the past, we can always to choose to rejoice in the new day
I am sure everyone can fill up the ... in the opening two lines
Let us make the right choice tomorrow morning.
When we wake up and we rejoice in the prospect of going to work...
When we wake up and we dread the prospect of going to work...
We do have a choice.
It doesn't mean that if our previous day was dreadful, today will be so too
No matter what the past, we can always to choose to rejoice in the new day
I am sure everyone can fill up the ... in the opening two lines
Let us make the right choice tomorrow morning.
Friday, 5 December 2014
Reflection 150 (nature)
After being away for the three past days, home again.
This morning I spent 2 hours in pure nature and pure it was
When spending time in nature I feel I am truly myself
No caution, free flow of thoughts, pure delight for my eyes
I just love it.
I will stop typing here immediately and off I am
to nature...
Bye
This morning I spent 2 hours in pure nature and pure it was
When spending time in nature I feel I am truly myself
No caution, free flow of thoughts, pure delight for my eyes
I just love it.
I will stop typing here immediately and off I am
to nature...
Bye
Thursday, 4 December 2014
Reflection 149 (write)
The sky is so vast
The universe so wide
Nature so nice
How can we not-write
Each of us should write out our soul
Write out our heart
Write out our thoughts
Let us all write
Write something that leaves behind
something really valuable of ourselves
for posterity
If not just for your self
Write a quote, write few verses, write a short essay, one paragraph, a short story, a novel anything, a poem, a work of proze.
Just take the pen or that keyboard, and write
The universe so wide
Nature so nice
How can we not-write
Each of us should write out our soul
Write out our heart
Write out our thoughts
Let us all write
Write something that leaves behind
something really valuable of ourselves
for posterity
If not just for your self
Write a quote, write few verses, write a short essay, one paragraph, a short story, a novel anything, a poem, a work of proze.
Just take the pen or that keyboard, and write
Saturday, 29 November 2014
Reflection 148 (caring society)
Caring Society
Today I really felt taken care off by a person I don't know very well.
It went like this:
The battery of my car broke down. Luckily there were some friends around who immediately helped me to connect the starting cables to the battery of another car and my car was soon running. That was nice and caring but "the cream on the cake" had yet to come. I asked around where there was a shop in the neighbourhood at which I could find a new battery as we had to go to another place about 1 hour away. I was given some real good advice. I went on the way and about half an hour later I get a call from a female friend. Her husband was wondering whether we had found a battery shop to replace our battery. Now that call really touched my heart.
I felt the man and the friend were really caring for us. It are these small attentions that are really on the increase and that make me firmly believe that our society heading in the right direction. We ARE moving towards a CARING SOCIETY. And that will be so nice to live in.
I rejoice whenever I think about the future. !
Today I really felt taken care off by a person I don't know very well.
It went like this:
The battery of my car broke down. Luckily there were some friends around who immediately helped me to connect the starting cables to the battery of another car and my car was soon running. That was nice and caring but "the cream on the cake" had yet to come. I asked around where there was a shop in the neighbourhood at which I could find a new battery as we had to go to another place about 1 hour away. I was given some real good advice. I went on the way and about half an hour later I get a call from a female friend. Her husband was wondering whether we had found a battery shop to replace our battery. Now that call really touched my heart.
I felt the man and the friend were really caring for us. It are these small attentions that are really on the increase and that make me firmly believe that our society heading in the right direction. We ARE moving towards a CARING SOCIETY. And that will be so nice to live in.
I rejoice whenever I think about the future. !
Saturday, 22 November 2014
Reflection 147 (kaizen)
Kaizen
Kaizen means small incremental improvements.
It is amazing how much has been achieved throughout history and throughout a variety of areas with small incremental improvements. This morning I read an amazing story.
In a residential area, the residents were asked to put a small poster with the message, please drive safely, in the left lower corner of one the windows at the front of their house. Almost all residents agreed. Two weeks later they were asked whether they would agree to put up a billboard in front of their property with a similar message but this time the billboard was quite huge and not very attractive. More than 70% agreed. In another residential area no small posters were used but people were asked from the beginning about the billboard. Less than 30% agreed.
I think in our personal life, at our workplace, if we want to make a positive change, it may be worth to start rather small.
Kaizen means small incremental improvements.
It is amazing how much has been achieved throughout history and throughout a variety of areas with small incremental improvements. This morning I read an amazing story.
In a residential area, the residents were asked to put a small poster with the message, please drive safely, in the left lower corner of one the windows at the front of their house. Almost all residents agreed. Two weeks later they were asked whether they would agree to put up a billboard in front of their property with a similar message but this time the billboard was quite huge and not very attractive. More than 70% agreed. In another residential area no small posters were used but people were asked from the beginning about the billboard. Less than 30% agreed.
I think in our personal life, at our workplace, if we want to make a positive change, it may be worth to start rather small.
Friday, 21 November 2014
Reflection 146 (complex)
Life is so complex. Science is really complex.
And then there are the people;
the people who are really complex themselves,
but they like, oh, so much to compartmentalize
I am working for a university
and there are the grants for knowledge transfer
and there are the grants for community engagement
and there are the grants for research
Each of course have their own merits and limits. But the sad thing about this is: some of the people controlling the grants want to recipient of the grants only to address the scope within their own field
I think it is quite essential for everyone to see that if we want to embark on any of the above, we have to embark on all three. Based on that we could ask the recipients of the grants to have the main focus on one or the other but not to have the ONLY focus on that. People who manage to integrate the three (knowledge transfer, community engagement AND research) can deliver results for the community not just 1+1+1= 3 but1+1+1, making three hundred.
And then there are the people;
the people who are really complex themselves,
but they like, oh, so much to compartmentalize
I am working for a university
and there are the grants for knowledge transfer
and there are the grants for community engagement
and there are the grants for research
Each of course have their own merits and limits. But the sad thing about this is: some of the people controlling the grants want to recipient of the grants only to address the scope within their own field
I think it is quite essential for everyone to see that if we want to embark on any of the above, we have to embark on all three. Based on that we could ask the recipients of the grants to have the main focus on one or the other but not to have the ONLY focus on that. People who manage to integrate the three (knowledge transfer, community engagement AND research) can deliver results for the community not just 1+1+1= 3 but1+1+1, making three hundred.
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Reflection 145 (understanding mercy)
Understanding mercy
There was a man in Napoleon's army who had done something so terrible, that it was worthy of death. The day before he was scheduled to appear before the firing squad, the mother of the man went to see Napoleon, to ask for mercy. Napoleon replied that her son did not deserve mercy.
The mother replied that she knew that. If he deserved mercy it would not be mercy.
The above story was adapted from Alice Gray's book, stories for the heart. and under it she had the following quote from an anonymous author:
Some of God's attributes are too wonderful to understand
but even if they remain darkness to the intellect
let them be sunshine to your soul.
After reading this, I got this very warm feeling deep inside my heart.
I was thinking of the mercy of God,
I hope you experienced something like that too.
Love and mercy and lots of peace to you.
There was a man in Napoleon's army who had done something so terrible, that it was worthy of death. The day before he was scheduled to appear before the firing squad, the mother of the man went to see Napoleon, to ask for mercy. Napoleon replied that her son did not deserve mercy.
The mother replied that she knew that. If he deserved mercy it would not be mercy.
The above story was adapted from Alice Gray's book, stories for the heart. and under it she had the following quote from an anonymous author:
Some of God's attributes are too wonderful to understand
but even if they remain darkness to the intellect
let them be sunshine to your soul.
After reading this, I got this very warm feeling deep inside my heart.
I was thinking of the mercy of God,
I hope you experienced something like that too.
Love and mercy and lots of peace to you.
Saturday, 15 November 2014
Reflection 144 (together)
Together
I read this wonderful story in a book, titled stories for the heart:
A man got lost in the jungle. After about half an hour he met another man who asked:
"Can you please show me the way out of this jungle?"
The man responded:
"No, I cannot show you the way out of here, but if you walk with me we could find the way together"
I read this wonderful story in a book, titled stories for the heart:
A man got lost in the jungle. After about half an hour he met another man who asked:
"Can you please show me the way out of this jungle?"
The man responded:
"No, I cannot show you the way out of here, but if you walk with me we could find the way together"
Friday, 14 November 2014
Reflection 143 (why is my soul so quiet)
Why
I often wonder why my soul is so quiet
It has to be so silent for me to hear my soul's voice
I often wonder why my ego is so loud
My ego's shouts are heard, even in the loudest of noise
Perhaps the answer lies in the inherent nature
The inherent nature of ego and soul
Perhaps the inherent nature of soul is stillness
and that of ego is not quiet at all
It would be easier to live a life full of love
Surely if our soul a bit louder would cry
But it may well be that love without silence
would not be true love; perhaps that's why...?
I often wonder why my soul is so quiet
It has to be so silent for me to hear my soul's voice
I often wonder why my ego is so loud
My ego's shouts are heard, even in the loudest of noise
Perhaps the answer lies in the inherent nature
The inherent nature of ego and soul
Perhaps the inherent nature of soul is stillness
and that of ego is not quiet at all
It would be easier to live a life full of love
Surely if our soul a bit louder would cry
But it may well be that love without silence
would not be true love; perhaps that's why...?
Wednesday, 12 November 2014
Reflection 142 (replacing the in)
In love versus love
Being in love, how beautiful, how amazing, how all encompassing!
The subject of our "in love" means everything and we are truly convinced that it will be for ever.
For ever and ever. At least that is how our fairy tales end: and they lived happily for ever after.
Life however is no fairy tale. Being IN love does not last forever.
It was nature that provided us with the ecstatic feelings of being in love
It was nature that connected to it the invariable feeling of being forever and ever.
It was nature that wants to ensure our species does not end in this generation
that is why we get the extraordinary feelings, and that is also why it connected it to forever-ness
The want for forever-ness is there for a good reason.
Our children may greatly benefit from parents with a stable relationship.
Somehow a stable relationship is not only benefiting the children but equally the partners inside it.
Humans need affection, support, love and where else is a better place to get these things than within the harmony of a family and the coziness of a real 'home'.
But what do we humans make of it?
Love is not the same as 'in love'.
While the one with the 'in' comes spontaneously as an infatuation that is invariably only temporary, the one without the 'in' does not come spontaneously. It requires effort. People in successful marriages sometimes make this effort at a subconscious level and manage to replace the in love with love. But far more often we try to cling to the infatuation. We lose the infatuation but try to bring it back. Sometimes we can temporary bring it back but it is still infatuation and tends to fly away as fast as it comes. If we fail to make the effort to replace the infatuation with love (without the Ãn) we either end up in broken marriage or unhappy relationships. We can make this effort consciously!
To love with effort seems to go against nature.
But that is what humans are endowed with and are capable of doing.
We can achieve much bigger things than through just following our natural instincts.
Our nature urges us to indulge in sweet and excessive food, we can choose a healthy diet.
Our nature urges us to relax and rest so we have enough energy for the next fight or flight response, but we can choose a healthy life style with regular excercise
Our nature urges us to be lazy, but we can choose to live a life with purpose bringing us great peace of mind and elevate us to higher level of thinking, a higher level of awareness.
Our nature urges us to fall in love and then fall out of it, but we can replace the in love with true love bringing us a life with lots of harmony, support and a real home for us and our children.
Which efforts are we talking about? Just doing simple loving things, saying simple loving words, creating a unique lovely name (darling and honey are not very unique), probing each other's interests, being 100% trustworthy, assisting in each other's growth, mental, emotional and spiritual growth that is. Once love, true love is growing, romance will come back with another delightful dimension. Being 100% trustworthy (not a single lie) is perhaps the single most important one
I have reached an age where many of my friends of similar age are struggling with the so called midlife crisis. Midlife crisis is an ego problem. Our children are bigger, our jobs often quite established, our wives growing older. Our ego starts to doubt our outer worthiness and gaining the heart of a much younger girl seems a ready solution to please the ego enough and convince it we still have "ït".
Giving in to this means we have not managed to create true love within our marriage in the first place. Embarking on another infatuation followed invariably by falling out of the infatuation is not a solution. Can you just imagine how your middle aged wife must feel about you having a young girl? First let me tell you it is not a big achievement to lure a young girl, even if she is beautiful into a relationship if you are middle aged. The most ugly men of middle age can usually lurk through sweet talk young ladies quite easily. So nothing to be proud off. But every thing to worry about. First put yourself in the place of your wife! Even if your religion allows a second wife, think for a while how the one who has delivered your children must feel. A little bit of empathy. Surely if you think about a second wife you have failed to establish love, to make the efforts. You have missed out on this wonderful human achievement, but then did you also lose all forms of empathy?
It is truly never too late to make the efforts to create a loving relationship with the mother of your children. Some marriages really do not work out, but if we all put perfect honesty and so many other good values to work within ours, the number of marriages enjoying true harmony may increase sharply.
How about the religion? 'It is allowed, Mohamed had multiple wives'. That was in a time when women outnumbered men by huge multiples since men were dying in wars and huntings. Now we are living in a different era. While it could be considered a noble and good thing to take care of a widow and multiple women in the year 400, this does not justify in any way a lust-driven instinctive poor and selfish solution to an ego driven selfish midlife crisis. The much better solution to midlife is to make some of efforts, simple efforts to find true love with your wife, respect her more than anybody else in the world and not let her suffer in silence because of a misplaced male ego problem.
Being in love, how beautiful, how amazing, how all encompassing!
The subject of our "in love" means everything and we are truly convinced that it will be for ever.
For ever and ever. At least that is how our fairy tales end: and they lived happily for ever after.
Life however is no fairy tale. Being IN love does not last forever.
It was nature that provided us with the ecstatic feelings of being in love
It was nature that connected to it the invariable feeling of being forever and ever.
It was nature that wants to ensure our species does not end in this generation
that is why we get the extraordinary feelings, and that is also why it connected it to forever-ness
The want for forever-ness is there for a good reason.
Our children may greatly benefit from parents with a stable relationship.
Somehow a stable relationship is not only benefiting the children but equally the partners inside it.
Humans need affection, support, love and where else is a better place to get these things than within the harmony of a family and the coziness of a real 'home'.
But what do we humans make of it?
Love is not the same as 'in love'.
While the one with the 'in' comes spontaneously as an infatuation that is invariably only temporary, the one without the 'in' does not come spontaneously. It requires effort. People in successful marriages sometimes make this effort at a subconscious level and manage to replace the in love with love. But far more often we try to cling to the infatuation. We lose the infatuation but try to bring it back. Sometimes we can temporary bring it back but it is still infatuation and tends to fly away as fast as it comes. If we fail to make the effort to replace the infatuation with love (without the Ãn) we either end up in broken marriage or unhappy relationships. We can make this effort consciously!
To love with effort seems to go against nature.
But that is what humans are endowed with and are capable of doing.
We can achieve much bigger things than through just following our natural instincts.
Our nature urges us to indulge in sweet and excessive food, we can choose a healthy diet.
Our nature urges us to relax and rest so we have enough energy for the next fight or flight response, but we can choose a healthy life style with regular excercise
Our nature urges us to be lazy, but we can choose to live a life with purpose bringing us great peace of mind and elevate us to higher level of thinking, a higher level of awareness.
Our nature urges us to fall in love and then fall out of it, but we can replace the in love with true love bringing us a life with lots of harmony, support and a real home for us and our children.
Which efforts are we talking about? Just doing simple loving things, saying simple loving words, creating a unique lovely name (darling and honey are not very unique), probing each other's interests, being 100% trustworthy, assisting in each other's growth, mental, emotional and spiritual growth that is. Once love, true love is growing, romance will come back with another delightful dimension. Being 100% trustworthy (not a single lie) is perhaps the single most important one
I have reached an age where many of my friends of similar age are struggling with the so called midlife crisis. Midlife crisis is an ego problem. Our children are bigger, our jobs often quite established, our wives growing older. Our ego starts to doubt our outer worthiness and gaining the heart of a much younger girl seems a ready solution to please the ego enough and convince it we still have "ït".
Giving in to this means we have not managed to create true love within our marriage in the first place. Embarking on another infatuation followed invariably by falling out of the infatuation is not a solution. Can you just imagine how your middle aged wife must feel about you having a young girl? First let me tell you it is not a big achievement to lure a young girl, even if she is beautiful into a relationship if you are middle aged. The most ugly men of middle age can usually lurk through sweet talk young ladies quite easily. So nothing to be proud off. But every thing to worry about. First put yourself in the place of your wife! Even if your religion allows a second wife, think for a while how the one who has delivered your children must feel. A little bit of empathy. Surely if you think about a second wife you have failed to establish love, to make the efforts. You have missed out on this wonderful human achievement, but then did you also lose all forms of empathy?
It is truly never too late to make the efforts to create a loving relationship with the mother of your children. Some marriages really do not work out, but if we all put perfect honesty and so many other good values to work within ours, the number of marriages enjoying true harmony may increase sharply.
How about the religion? 'It is allowed, Mohamed had multiple wives'. That was in a time when women outnumbered men by huge multiples since men were dying in wars and huntings. Now we are living in a different era. While it could be considered a noble and good thing to take care of a widow and multiple women in the year 400, this does not justify in any way a lust-driven instinctive poor and selfish solution to an ego driven selfish midlife crisis. The much better solution to midlife is to make some of efforts, simple efforts to find true love with your wife, respect her more than anybody else in the world and not let her suffer in silence because of a misplaced male ego problem.
Tuesday, 11 November 2014
Reflection 141 (aim)
Focus on aim
(inspired by R. Sharma's the monk who sold his ferrari)
I like the part of Alice in Wonderland where Alice asks the rabbit which way she should go. The rabbit responded that it depended on where she wanted to go. When Alice said she did not know where to go, the rabbit responded that then it did not matter which way she would take.
If we have no aim in our life, we may just drive around in circles and 10 years from now, we may be at exactly the same level of achievement that we are now.
So important to take on and of some time and think about our aim in the short term, medium long term and long term. Best to write it down. Why to write it down?
1. It will allow us to get focused
Think about a few rays of sunlight. If not focused they give a little bit of warmth.
If focused through a magnifying glass: can light up a flame
Focus can convert our aim in to small flame that may give us light and warmth
2. If we write down and read our aim, it will tell our subconscious mind that this thought is more important than the other 59 999 thoughts we think in a day.
(inspired by R. Sharma's the monk who sold his ferrari)
I like the part of Alice in Wonderland where Alice asks the rabbit which way she should go. The rabbit responded that it depended on where she wanted to go. When Alice said she did not know where to go, the rabbit responded that then it did not matter which way she would take.
If we have no aim in our life, we may just drive around in circles and 10 years from now, we may be at exactly the same level of achievement that we are now.
So important to take on and of some time and think about our aim in the short term, medium long term and long term. Best to write it down. Why to write it down?
1. It will allow us to get focused
Think about a few rays of sunlight. If not focused they give a little bit of warmth.
If focused through a magnifying glass: can light up a flame
Focus can convert our aim in to small flame that may give us light and warmth
2. If we write down and read our aim, it will tell our subconscious mind that this thought is more important than the other 59 999 thoughts we think in a day.
Sunday, 9 November 2014
Reflection 140 (the sky)
The sky
How many days go by
that we do not see the sky?
This evening I came back from work and it was almost getting dark.
Usually I go out of the car and straight into the house.
But today, i took a small walk in the garden and noticed the sky.
Amazing
Glorious
Wonderful
. These were the words that came to mind
Tomorrow I plan to take a few minutes in the morning
a few ninutes in the evening, just to watch the sky.
I think I have missed too many amazing clouds
I think I have missed too many glorious colours
I think I have missed too many wonderful skies
If today you have not taken a few moments to look at the sky
Please stop reading now, walk outside and take a look.
it may be breathtakingly beautiful
How many days go by
that we do not see the sky?
This evening I came back from work and it was almost getting dark.
Usually I go out of the car and straight into the house.
But today, i took a small walk in the garden and noticed the sky.
Amazing
Glorious
Wonderful
. These were the words that came to mind
Tomorrow I plan to take a few minutes in the morning
a few ninutes in the evening, just to watch the sky.
I think I have missed too many amazing clouds
I think I have missed too many glorious colours
I think I have missed too many wonderful skies
If today you have not taken a few moments to look at the sky
Please stop reading now, walk outside and take a look.
it may be breathtakingly beautiful
Saturday, 8 November 2014
Reflection 139 (what I know for sure)
What I know for sure
This is the title of a book by Oprah Winfrey.
In her foreword she states that during an interview she was asked the question and was so surprised by it, that she really had no answer. Can you imagine, Oprah at a loss of words! Afterwards however she gave it a lot of thought and over her life time she has encountered so many situations that made her sure about quite a variety of things.
Of course it is a very relevant question: What do I know for sure?
If someone would ask me, the immediate thing I would come up with would be that kindness is the fastest way to peace of mind and happiness. That is perhaps the thing I am most sure about in my life. I am sure that I will die.
If I would be allowed to think for much longer I could come up with quite a number of other things I am sure about.
I am curious what others are sure about. If on the spot without lots of thinking you can come up with things you are sure about, please write them in the comments section of this post. No need to register or put your name or address.
This is the title of a book by Oprah Winfrey.
In her foreword she states that during an interview she was asked the question and was so surprised by it, that she really had no answer. Can you imagine, Oprah at a loss of words! Afterwards however she gave it a lot of thought and over her life time she has encountered so many situations that made her sure about quite a variety of things.
Of course it is a very relevant question: What do I know for sure?
If someone would ask me, the immediate thing I would come up with would be that kindness is the fastest way to peace of mind and happiness. That is perhaps the thing I am most sure about in my life. I am sure that I will die.
If I would be allowed to think for much longer I could come up with quite a number of other things I am sure about.
I am curious what others are sure about. If on the spot without lots of thinking you can come up with things you are sure about, please write them in the comments section of this post. No need to register or put your name or address.
Friday, 7 November 2014
Reflection 138 (fear)
`Today I read a religious magazine.
It had an article about women going to hell
There were plenty of articles about sin
How do all these writers know so much about who will go to hell and who not?
As a matter of fact they do not know at all.
They are just threatening people with something completely beyond their knowledge.
They try to instill fear and as such try to control the minds of followers
while love for our Creator is what encompasses the essentials of our religion.
This "If-you-do-not-follow-what-I-believe,-I-can-guarantee-you-hell" mentality is so desperately outdated and completely narrow minded. It is blocking any progress in spirituality or thinking or emotion or anything else not only for the one claiming this nonsensical statements themselves but for every unwitting follower they may have inadvertently gathered.
Let us leave as far as possible this abominable mentality as soon as we can for ever and ever and ever.
It had an article about women going to hell
There were plenty of articles about sin
How do all these writers know so much about who will go to hell and who not?
As a matter of fact they do not know at all.
They are just threatening people with something completely beyond their knowledge.
They try to instill fear and as such try to control the minds of followers
while love for our Creator is what encompasses the essentials of our religion.
This "If-you-do-not-follow-what-I-believe,-I-can-guarantee-you-hell" mentality is so desperately outdated and completely narrow minded. It is blocking any progress in spirituality or thinking or emotion or anything else not only for the one claiming this nonsensical statements themselves but for every unwitting follower they may have inadvertently gathered.
Let us leave as far as possible this abominable mentality as soon as we can for ever and ever and ever.
Reflection 137 (Peck and Freud)
The road less traveled
Recently I started (again) the book with the title: "the road less traveled" by Scott Peck.
In the first chapters, he fully blames the parents for children's and later adult's deviant behaviour.
Of course he is a psychiatrist and sees among the most extreme behavior problems and a number of them are truly related to poor parenting practices. But to use the Freudian dogma that all problems results from childhood is going a bit overboard, no matter how strongly the psycho-analysts believe that is true. If they were right, they would be able to cure virtually everyone with their psycho-analysis. But not so.
Surely parenting is very important but it is perhaps the most difficult task thrown on the shoulders of young adults (who just underwent parenting from their own parents :) ) without any formal training. If you ask, who is more important for a child's well-being: the parents or the paediatrician. For the huge majority of children, it will be the parents. No way anyone can become a paediatrician without extensive and thorough training spanning over more than one decade. Parenting however, it comes to you, expected or unexpected but most often without any experience or training. And for educated and uneducated people alike, the tasks of parenting seem as daunting and challenging or much more daunting and challenging than our own profession or job.
I have read many books on parenting, but none seems to fully agree with the other. If you read ten books on how to give a good PowerPoint presentation, nine will tell you the same essential things. If you read ten books on parenting nine or ten will be tell you almost completely different things.
I think the most prominent common thing in good advice for parents is the factor, named love. Almost all parents will claim to love their children very much. How can we not love a baby? Still many young adults do not love babies. Among the majority who loves babies, quite a number get easily tired of caring for them. Babies demand so much, they change your life style, your life completely. Then toddlers challenging authority, how do we discipline them. Of course many say with love. How much love do parents use in disciplining? How strongly can we control our own emotions? And the example we put up as a role model. The axiom of children will follow what we do and not so much what we say. True enough.
An common problem, also is the parents projecting their own wishes on the children's future. These parents tell themselves they love their children but limiting the freedom of the child to choose their own path in life is often more a reflection of the parent's self-love and need for pride than real love and respect for the child.
While many psychiatric problems may indeed have a firm origin in childhood and in "wrong" parenting, for most adolescents and later adults it is a complex interplay between the personality, intellect, emotional and spiritual status of the adolescent/adult and the parenting. So true, parenting styles affect us life long but it is by far not the only thing. A lot of adolescents with major problems have siblings who do not have such problems, even though they had the same parents. Sure enough parents do not treat all siblings the same way but the role models stand.
I'd love to conclude that parenting is a very important task. It deserves a lot of thought and reflection and effort to make the right choices as parents. But as adults and even adolescents, we cannot blame all of our problems on our parents. The choices we make are ours. Whether or not our children become successful is the result of an extremely complex interplay between parents, children and any outside influence.
Recently I started (again) the book with the title: "the road less traveled" by Scott Peck.
In the first chapters, he fully blames the parents for children's and later adult's deviant behaviour.
Of course he is a psychiatrist and sees among the most extreme behavior problems and a number of them are truly related to poor parenting practices. But to use the Freudian dogma that all problems results from childhood is going a bit overboard, no matter how strongly the psycho-analysts believe that is true. If they were right, they would be able to cure virtually everyone with their psycho-analysis. But not so.
Surely parenting is very important but it is perhaps the most difficult task thrown on the shoulders of young adults (who just underwent parenting from their own parents :) ) without any formal training. If you ask, who is more important for a child's well-being: the parents or the paediatrician. For the huge majority of children, it will be the parents. No way anyone can become a paediatrician without extensive and thorough training spanning over more than one decade. Parenting however, it comes to you, expected or unexpected but most often without any experience or training. And for educated and uneducated people alike, the tasks of parenting seem as daunting and challenging or much more daunting and challenging than our own profession or job.
I have read many books on parenting, but none seems to fully agree with the other. If you read ten books on how to give a good PowerPoint presentation, nine will tell you the same essential things. If you read ten books on parenting nine or ten will be tell you almost completely different things.
I think the most prominent common thing in good advice for parents is the factor, named love. Almost all parents will claim to love their children very much. How can we not love a baby? Still many young adults do not love babies. Among the majority who loves babies, quite a number get easily tired of caring for them. Babies demand so much, they change your life style, your life completely. Then toddlers challenging authority, how do we discipline them. Of course many say with love. How much love do parents use in disciplining? How strongly can we control our own emotions? And the example we put up as a role model. The axiom of children will follow what we do and not so much what we say. True enough.
An common problem, also is the parents projecting their own wishes on the children's future. These parents tell themselves they love their children but limiting the freedom of the child to choose their own path in life is often more a reflection of the parent's self-love and need for pride than real love and respect for the child.
While many psychiatric problems may indeed have a firm origin in childhood and in "wrong" parenting, for most adolescents and later adults it is a complex interplay between the personality, intellect, emotional and spiritual status of the adolescent/adult and the parenting. So true, parenting styles affect us life long but it is by far not the only thing. A lot of adolescents with major problems have siblings who do not have such problems, even though they had the same parents. Sure enough parents do not treat all siblings the same way but the role models stand.
I'd love to conclude that parenting is a very important task. It deserves a lot of thought and reflection and effort to make the right choices as parents. But as adults and even adolescents, we cannot blame all of our problems on our parents. The choices we make are ours. Whether or not our children become successful is the result of an extremely complex interplay between parents, children and any outside influence.
Monday, 3 November 2014
Reflection 136 (praise)
Praise
Many of us think we have to praise our God because our God will be angry if we do not.
What a mistake, do we think we are so great, we can make our God angry?
But still it is so good to praise our God
Not because God is vain and will bask in glory while being praised
God is not like human kings or sultans who demand and thrive on protocol
We were given prayer as a gift, as a present.
Praying and praising our Creator sincerely from the heart
elevates our heart and brings our soul a bit closer to Him.
Praising our God is something that brings us peace of mind
Peace at heart, peace of soul.
It puts us in a state of gratefulness, thankfulness,
A thankful heart is a gift.
A gift from our God to us
Try to say sincerely thanks and see if it ever can make you feel bad?
Not so, it is truly a wonderful gift.
If we understand this, praying will never again be a sacrifice
It will be just delight, a present, a gift.
Not a gift from us to God,
A gift from God to us.
A pleasure, a joy
A pure delight
Many of us think we have to praise our God because our God will be angry if we do not.
What a mistake, do we think we are so great, we can make our God angry?
But still it is so good to praise our God
Not because God is vain and will bask in glory while being praised
God is not like human kings or sultans who demand and thrive on protocol
We were given prayer as a gift, as a present.
Praying and praising our Creator sincerely from the heart
elevates our heart and brings our soul a bit closer to Him.
Praising our God is something that brings us peace of mind
Peace at heart, peace of soul.
It puts us in a state of gratefulness, thankfulness,
A thankful heart is a gift.
A gift from our God to us
Try to say sincerely thanks and see if it ever can make you feel bad?
Not so, it is truly a wonderful gift.
If we understand this, praying will never again be a sacrifice
It will be just delight, a present, a gift.
Not a gift from us to God,
A gift from God to us.
A pleasure, a joy
A pure delight
Sunday, 2 November 2014
Reflection 135 (today)
Today
This morning I wanted to be the sunshine
in the life of everyone i'd meet
Now at night, I am not so sure
Not sure if any rays have shone
Sometimes small gestures or a kind word
can make a difference in someone's life
I hope I had some of these today
'cause of big good deeds I am not aware
Perhaps the small talk with my son
or here or there a hi or smile
I still hope that my day has meant a thing
for here or there a soul, a heart or mind
This morning I wanted to be the sunshine
in the life of everyone i'd meet
Now at night, I am not so sure
Not sure if any rays have shone
Sometimes small gestures or a kind word
can make a difference in someone's life
I hope I had some of these today
'cause of big good deeds I am not aware
Perhaps the small talk with my son
or here or there a hi or smile
I still hope that my day has meant a thing
for here or there a soul, a heart or mind
Saturday, 1 November 2014
Reflection 134 (child-like)
Child-like
This morning my nephews and nieces were visiting.
I had a really good time with them, making jokes and laughing.
How nice is it to laugh together with (not at) children!
Sometimes I feel that if the world would be a bit more child-like.
it would be sooooooo much better.
Child-like does not mean childish.
Child-like is just thinking simple like a child does
Liking simple things, being able to laugh at simple jokes
Let us make it our aim for today to be a little bit child-like
This morning my nephews and nieces were visiting.
I had a really good time with them, making jokes and laughing.
How nice is it to laugh together with (not at) children!
Sometimes I feel that if the world would be a bit more child-like.
it would be sooooooo much better.
Child-like does not mean childish.
Child-like is just thinking simple like a child does
Liking simple things, being able to laugh at simple jokes
Let us make it our aim for today to be a little bit child-like
Friday, 31 October 2014
Reflection 133 (listening to books)
Books
Books are something so valuable to many people
But still, to a majority, that overwhelms the book lovers in great numbers,
books are not fully appreciated.
I love books, I love to read books.
But recently I also fell in love with audio-books.
Audiobooks are books read out aloud and recorded.
The voice is often the author and with voice (s)he can often give an extra dimension to the text.
When I drive I cannot read, not even a short SMS message from my wife, but I can listen to an audiobook.
I generally drive every day 30 minutes to my work and 30 minutes back. This means one hour of audiobooks. Truly enjoyable.
For everyone who had not yet discovered the joy of audiobooks, I recommend them warmly.
Audiobooks could help our youth as well to get exposed to a variety of written materials.
It may be a solution for our dyslexics. True enough, we have to help our dyslexics to be able to read but they may never enjoy reading books. Audiobooks may be of great help.
Books are something so valuable to many people
But still, to a majority, that overwhelms the book lovers in great numbers,
books are not fully appreciated.
I love books, I love to read books.
But recently I also fell in love with audio-books.
Audiobooks are books read out aloud and recorded.
The voice is often the author and with voice (s)he can often give an extra dimension to the text.
When I drive I cannot read, not even a short SMS message from my wife, but I can listen to an audiobook.
I generally drive every day 30 minutes to my work and 30 minutes back. This means one hour of audiobooks. Truly enjoyable.
For everyone who had not yet discovered the joy of audiobooks, I recommend them warmly.
Audiobooks could help our youth as well to get exposed to a variety of written materials.
It may be a solution for our dyslexics. True enough, we have to help our dyslexics to be able to read but they may never enjoy reading books. Audiobooks may be of great help.
Monday, 27 October 2014
Reflection 132 (teach)
Let's teach
Let's teach our children
Not the history of conqueror-mass murderers
but the glory of humble servants to humanity
My heart worries if I see award giving ceremonies
for children achieving excellent results in school
The all important scoring of As
Maybe we have to stop the madness
Let us stop and think for a while what we want most for our children
Any reasonable parent would answer:
I want them to be first and foremost happy people, if possible happier than myself.
But there are so many unreasonable parents out there who give a wicked twist to the above into:
I want my children to be first and foremost high achievers, achieving higher aims than myself. (and higher aims means more money, more power, more influence, something for parents to be proud of). There is nothing noble about ignoring what the talents and true ambitions of your children are. I have met medical students who were not interested in Medicine at all. Some of them dreamed of becoming movie directors but were pushed in medical school by their enormously egoistic (or/and unintelligent) parents
Let us stick to the happiness ideal for our children.
Happiness is so closely linked to basic values.
Let us teach them values first before we teach them that being first is all that's valued
Let's teach our children
the long lasting happiness that lies in humbly serving
Let us put that as priority number one.
to be able to help and serve in an optimal way they may need to work hard, to achieve
Let us teach them to serve and help friends along the way and never make achievement a lofty aim by itself...
Let's teach our children
Not the history of conqueror-mass murderers
but the glory of humble servants to humanity
My heart worries if I see award giving ceremonies
for children achieving excellent results in school
The all important scoring of As
Maybe we have to stop the madness
Let us stop and think for a while what we want most for our children
Any reasonable parent would answer:
I want them to be first and foremost happy people, if possible happier than myself.
But there are so many unreasonable parents out there who give a wicked twist to the above into:
I want my children to be first and foremost high achievers, achieving higher aims than myself. (and higher aims means more money, more power, more influence, something for parents to be proud of). There is nothing noble about ignoring what the talents and true ambitions of your children are. I have met medical students who were not interested in Medicine at all. Some of them dreamed of becoming movie directors but were pushed in medical school by their enormously egoistic (or/and unintelligent) parents
Let us stick to the happiness ideal for our children.
Happiness is so closely linked to basic values.
Let us teach them values first before we teach them that being first is all that's valued
Let's teach our children
the long lasting happiness that lies in humbly serving
Let us put that as priority number one.
to be able to help and serve in an optimal way they may need to work hard, to achieve
Let us teach them to serve and help friends along the way and never make achievement a lofty aim by itself...
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