Forgiveness

 I found some nice quotes on forgiveness on the net

 

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it enlarges the future."  - Paul Boose

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

 “Always forgive your enemies—nothing annoys them so much.” —Oscar Wilde

 

 “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” —Nelson Mandela

 “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” —Lewis B. Smedes

 The last two quotes are showing very nicely that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not for the one we forgive. If we hate someone, it does not much affect the one we hate or have grudges against. 

I can relate a personal story. I was in charge of the neonatal ward in a rural area in Malaysia. One night, many years ago, I was in dire need of syringe pumps. These are essential to give medications to newborn babies. We had so many sick babies and all our pumps were in use. A new baby with a severe condition was born and we really needed syringe pumps for giving him various types of medication in the exact right dose. That time, I knew that a new ward was about to open within our hospital and that all equipment was there already. I talked to the sister on call and requested that she arranged for me to borrow some of the pumps from that ward, that was not yet open. 

She had contacted the Doctor in charge of that ward and he refused to let me borrow the pumps. I asked the sister on call, she wanted to listen to that Doc who sat at home and let the baby in my ward die, or she wanted to take responsibility and let me borrow the life saving equipment that the baby needed. She luckily let us borrow the equipment. 

About 7 years later a new lecturer had joined our university and he told me the story of the pumps. I asked him how he knew. The Doc who had refused to borrow the pumps, had been apparently very upset with me and the sister that was in charge that night, and he was still angry with me about it. I sincerely had almost forgotten the incident and was completely unaware of his anger. Thus anger and hatred does not have an effect on the object of the anger but is just occupying in a negative the mind of the angry or hateful person. 

I really agree hatred or anger is imprisoning the angry or hateful person. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves, not for the person we hate. It is setting ourselves free from negative emotions that tend to blur our thinking process.