Reflection 70 (obedience to authority)

Obedience to authority

There is a real shocking experiment that was conducted in the sixties regarding obedience to authority. A summary of the experiment is found here. It was Milgram, a psychologist at Yale university conducting the experiment.

Not only was the methodology shocking but much more shocking still were the results. A majority of normal 'good hearted' persons could be brought to do amazingly cruel things to an innocent person in a teacher-student situation, just because they were authoritatively ordered to do so.

It is at the same time eye-opening and scary how malleable our behavior may be in the presence of authority. ~This  may not only be the authority of professionals but also simply the perception of group and peer opinion. So much of the groups of students bullying others consist of students who may feel very uncomfortable doing these things but giving in to the authority of the group and hunger group-peer approval is often so much stronger than their own values and principles.

When we teach our children obedience and respect, we have to incorporate a sense of value and really incorporate and teach them that obedience and respect is second to the important values and principles of life such as integrity, honesty, kindness, caingness, empathy....

Note: the above mentioned experiment is scary in the way that it may explain how Hitler could have risen to such great heights of authority and high number of followers, with the possibility of history to recur. On the other hand, we may hope that in the future we are able find leaders using their authority to REALLY make the world a better place.

Let us hope and pray for the latter and try to lead whenever we have the opportunity in such a way 

Reflection 69 (anger is loss)

Anger is loss

this is a little bit more about anger. (continued from reflection 68)

Anger is a loss of control
a loss of temper
a loss of dignity
a loss of respect
a loss of reason
a loss of sanity

Most of the time we regret what we say during bouts of anger.
Anger control is something we all should work at.

Take a deep breath, let it flow away.







.

Reflection 68 (anger and God)

Anger and God

So many people like to talk about the anger of our God
When I told my sons that our Creator does not get angry,
they gave a me a hard time.

I really believe I have a point and
this is what I told them in response:

Anger is one of the lowest human experiences.
Some thing we do not like makes us temporarily insane
We lose control.
Anger makes us say things we did not want to say
makes us do unacceptable crazy things

If you believe in our God, do you really think it is right
to project such temporary insanity onto our God?

I think if we get to know anger a bit better and
we get to know a little better our God,
none of us will still project anger on our Creator.

God is also not vain
See reflection 71 for a short essay on how some people consider our God to be vain.

Reflection 67 (windows)

Windows

Here I want to start with a wonderful poem by RW Trine (from his book in tune with the infinite):

 "Let there be many windows in your soul,
 That all the glory of the universe
 May beautify it. Not the narrow pane
 Of one poor creed can catch the radiant rays
 That shine from countless sources. Tear away
 The blinds of superstition: let the light
 Pour through fair windows, broad as truth itself
 And high as heaven. . . . Tune your ear
 To all the worldless music of the stars
 And to the voice of nature, and your heart
 Shall turn to truth and goodness as the plant
 Turns to the sun. A thousand unseen hands
 Reach down to help you to their peace-crowned heights,
 And all the forces of the firmament
 Shall fortify your strength. Be not afraid
 To thrust aside half-truths and grasp the whole."


Our search for truth should be really never ending and all encompassing. We should not rely on one teacher, one source but on all teachers, all sources and then make our own conclusions. And none of our conclusions should be final, because there is always something more to learn.

I think this is such a powerful poem. Enjoy.

Reflection 66 (perspective)

Perspective

The inequalities of Andes and Himalaya are insignificant in the curve of the sphere.

While I was reading Emerson's essay self reliance after writing reflection 65, I came across the above quote. 

So powerful. It puts everything in perspective. If we are in front of the Himalaya and perhaps the Everest, they look like giants, masters rising. But then if we look at the globe, the world they do not even interfere in any significant way with its spherical nature.

So tend to be the problems in our life as well. They may look like un-overcome-able mountains, but then if we look at them versus the totality of our being, they may not even significantly affect the smoothness of our life.

Let us see everything in its right perspective!

Reflection 65 (whose rules to follow)

Whose rules to follow?

"What may others think if I would do this?"
"What may others think if would not do this?''
Sometimes the above lines cross our minds.
the word 'others' maybe this or that person (or group).
Sometimes this becomes a main motivation for things to do or not to do.

Oh, yes, society wants very much to control what we do and don't
to a certain extent this may be OK, but to another extent it is not OK at all.
There are things we have to do or not do, no matter what!

Perhaps one of the worst control mechanisms, used by society is coercive powers in religion.
When I listen to religious leaders talk, I often hear: 'You should follow the rules of our God and not your own rules.' This is a very ambiguous statement.

How can we follow the rules of our God, if we do not search ourselves thoroughly to find with our utmost and highest level of reasoning, mind, heart and soul to find out what are these rules of God.
Of course the religious leaders mean: we should follow the rules of God as the leader himself perceives them. He ignores there completely that his own perception may be wrong or not suitable for a man or woman with completely different talents and aims than himself.

We know very well how they interpret the scriptures and how they try to force their own interpretations on others and in the process gain a very powerful position.

If some rituals from a tradition of more than a thousand years ago dictate people (or try to dictate people) to follow or perform rites that go against our own reason, that go against our conscience, against the universal values of humanity as perceived by ourselves, we should not blindly follow the tradition. I am sure it does not take too long for each of us to think of an example within our own society.

We have the moral duty to think for ourselves. We can listen to leaders and the so called masters but still they are humans, just as us. Our own conscience may be ever a better guide.


I really would like to refer the reader to selfreliance , an essay from Emerson. He writes very eloquently about this topic. Here are two small quotes: Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

Quotable quote:
 A teenager is all pre-occupied by what others think about them
A young adult realizes that often it does not matter to much what others think about them
A mature adult realizes that others do not think about them, everyone thinks mainly about him/herself
 

Reflection 64 (conscience)

Conscience


Sometimes we fail to listen carefully to what others want to say (reflection 61)

There is also a very different type of listening: listening to one's conscience.
So many of us do pray and just as in conversation with our friends, often we create a one way event: we talk, talk, talk. So few of us make really time to listen to our conscience.

Con-science looks like common science and that is very close to what it is. That huge common pile of common principles and values that are deeply imbedded each of our hearts and minds and souls. That ever present universe providing the brilliant feelings and thoughts we need on the moments we need them most.

Listening to our conscience is like tuning in to the Wisdom of the universe.
It is like looking at the bright flame of rightness and goodness
It is like feeling the soft winds of the divine blowing wonderful thoughts in our reflecting minds
It is like tasting the nectar of values and principles and swallow the guidance that comes along
The smell of sweet flowers of honesty, integrity, caring, kindness all flow by.

Let us make some time to listen, listen to our conscience.

After writing this, I got in a bit of a poetic mood and wrote the following poem (click on it if you want to read the poem): a whiff of conscience

Reflection 63 (plasticity)

Plasticity

Researchers have with increasing certainty shown that our brains have a high grade of plasticity. This means that connections between the key cells in our brains (neurons) keep changing.

Many believe now that there is not one second when all connections in our brain are the same as another second. As you read this reflection, your brain is changing.

I personally feel that this alone makes it worth to very carefully weigh and consider what we do with our brains on a daily basis:
Do we allow it to be filled by nonsense we can see on television?
Do we allow our brains to be filled by messages from sensation hungry reporters?
I try to minimize my exposure to nonsense and maximize my exposure to beauty, the beauty of nature, the beauty of inspirational poetry or prose, the beauty of simple human friendliness. I try to reflect daily. I try to do some brain training games (they are fun and research are more and more supporting a beneficial role for them) and of course we have to nourish our brains with the right food.

Our brains are changing.
Let us make a conscious effort to make them change for the better,
day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day.

Reflection 62 (Awe)

Awe

Some days we are so absorbed by the petty stuff in our life that we have not the time to stop for a while and stand in awe for the miracles that happen around us all the time. Some times I only realize at night how foolish I have been been to be stressed out about small matters without appreciating the magnificent beauty of nature that I was passing by, without fully enjoying the wonderful human interactions I was encountering, without being amazed at the capabilities of my own body, mind, heart and soul.

When one night, I had such an experience, I wrote it up in a small poem, titled unblind . If you click the link you can enjoy the poem, but much more important, enjoy for the rest of the day of for the whole of tomorrow the wonders and miracles around you.

Enjoy

Reflection 61 (listening)

Listening

This afternoon we got a visit from an ex-teacher and she was talking, talking and talking and we tried hard to say something or ask something, but most of the time she just went on talking without even paying attention to what we said or asked.

This is quite a problem with many people in a leadership position. I think it is so important to listen. A good listener is definitely much more valuable to the community and is far more successful in building lasting successful relationship than an avid talker.

Reflection 60 (tutelage)

Tutelage

Immanuel Kant wrote that many people are suffering from a self imposed tutelage and are scared and too lazy to think for themselves. People in control are willingly pointing to the  dangers of doing things without their approval. This is not good

Some people however want the opposite, absolute freedom to do what their desire dictate them to do and that also is  not good.

A good comparison of the first paragraph is the fish in a fish bowl. People take care of the fish by providing the fish safety and daily fish food and may actually think they do a favor to the fish but the fish is extremely limited in his movement, the fish may go crazy. It is not difficult to see that keeping the fish in a fish tank is not good for the fish but quite an egoistic act by humans who want to see fish.

Extreme religious control of people is sometimes compared to this image of keeping people in a fish tank. they control the people in the name of their safety and "well-being" but as a matter of fact they only want power and control and the whole thing is serving the egotism of the person exerting control.

Fish are not meant to be in a fish bowl, people are meant to think for themselves.

On the other extreme complete freedom is also not good. Sticking to the image of the fish. The fish has to remain in the water. the fish cannot just go anywhere, especially not out of the water. So are we humans to a certain extend bound by human priniciples and values which are universal and cannot violated, unless to our own detriment.

Reflection 59 (ideals)

Ideals

If you ask a sailor about the hazards of the sea, he points out: where are the old sailors, all are young. Similarly in the sea of thought of the idealists, we cannot find old idealists. (RW Emerson in "the transcendentalist")

What happened to the idealists?
Do they die young or do their ideals die young?

It is the poverty and insignificance of the older generations that kills the ideals of the young. Relying on the memory of their own failure they like to kill the ideals of the young. Let us break the circle the now. We may not have achieved great things ourselves but at least let us support the great dreams of our youths. They can eradicate hunger, they can eradicate poverty. If the ideals live in them, please let the ideals mature and become reality. Everything is possible.

Idealism is not naive, is not stupid, is not immature. We need idealism more now than ever.
Let us celebrate our ideals, let us revive our ideals from when we were young now. Let's not be afraid of potential disappointment. Let us fulfill our ideals all together.

Reflection 58 (we are not beings)

Beings

You may not like the title of reflection 58
But please read on

One day I read in a book by Osho:
"Man is not a being
Animals are beings
God is a being
We are merely a bridge, a becoming

Man keeps on changing, becoming evolving
Remain in divine discontent until you explode in light"

I think this is so extremely nice.
A very powerful way of saying that we should keep on searching for the Truth,
never be too satisfied with what we know already.

A bit too often perhaps we are very satisfied with ourselves and we think we are living the highest truth without attempting to read more about and from people thinking differently from ourselves. 
Let's keep reading new ideas with a critical mind. 
Let us become eternal searchers for a higher truth than the one we know already, unless we want to become a being and no longer be a becoming. 

Reflection 57 (humiliation)

Humiliation

I have had humiliating experiences
Not a long, long time ago, but just two years ago.
Humbling, no not only humbling, humiliating.
While extremely painful in the moment
now two years later, I can see the lessons I have learned
These experiences have really made me a different person.
I have learned to put my ego more aside than before.
I have learned to see the relativity of many things in life
I have learned to practice a bit more unconditional love.
I have learned to stick and stand up for principles.

We can learn a lot without having to be humiliated
but if humiliation comes your way anyhow,
do not let it break you down,
Two years later you may look back
and you may have learned from it a lot.

I wrote something about it in poetry format as well.
Can click the link below, the name of the poem is
the light

Reflection 56 (soul)

Soul

I like very much to read RW Emerson and here is what he was writing about soul:

"The soul is not an organ but it animates and exercises all the organs, It not a function like like the power of memory, of calculation, of comparison but it uses these functions as hands and feet. ~The soul is not a faculty but light, the soul is not the intellect or will but the master of the intellect and will. It is the background of our being in which they lie."

 I think that this is one of the most accurate descriptions of the soul that I have read. Especially the part where he describes the soul as a light. I think it is the divine spark sitting deep inside each of us. A spark we may choose to give lots of air and let it become a flame or even a fire that gives light not only to ourselves but also to our fellow humans as well.

If we could live a life governed by soul, I think it would be soooo good.

Reflection 55 (double face)

Double face

In conjunction with reflection 54, I elaborate a bit more on the extreme double faced lives some people live. Within very religious communities the most heinous sexual abuses do take place. Poor young men and boys are exploited to have sex with other men for payment. Children have been abused within the most strict religious circles. Can you imagine?

Even though not many of us would be involved in such extreme hypocrisy, on a much smaller scale we can improve our integrity. It just takes a few minutes to reflect and see where we did not live up to the ideals and principle we stand for or claim to stand for. Let us stand for our principles.

Reflection 54 (integrity)

Integrity

Our own thoughts should really match our words and acts.
If not, we generate an internal conflict. Seneca said it as follows (quote):
"I will govern my life and thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one and read the other"

I sometimes feel it is a bit dangerous to share all our feelings and thoughts with the world.
However if we could manage to think and feel in such a way that all can be safely known by the world, we reach a high level of thinking and feeling, perhaps almost sainthood.

Anyhow an interesting quote from Seneca, above, worth to think a bit deeper about and perhaps a worthy aim to guide and direct our thoughts and feelings towards a right direction. To a certain extent we have the capability to choose our thoughts and feelings...

Reflection 53 (books)

Books

I have been to international congresses with international speakers and amazingly some of these speakers did not know how to speak.
I have attended high profile meetings and amazingly the chair person of the meeting did not know how to chair a meeting

I could go on like this about so many things, people do and quite a number of them are not prepared.

There are books written about virtually everything. We do not have to start any of our tasks from scratch. We can benefit from the trials and errors of others and from the wisdom of experienced people. When we read these advices from the so called experts with a critical mind we can often distill gems of wisdom from so many books. I was lacking all confidence for public speaking until I read a book about it. I was not capable of chairing a meeting effectively until I read a book about it.

Perhaps the big exception to this is parenting. I did not know how to parent effectively, I read many books about it and I still don't know how to be a real good parent. I want so much to be the best parent in the world, but I tend to fail so often. Perhaps the most helpful book I read regarding this was titled: how to talk to children so children will listen and how to listen to children so children will talk. They have a variant to it for teens as well.

Reflection 52 (comfort)

Comfort

It is nice to have enough comfort or even a bit of excessive comfort.
Traveling comfortably, a reasonably good car and house.
At the same time it is our duty to achieve this comfort for a reasonable price
We don't need brands. Sometimes non branded items are as comfy or even more so than the branded ones. Quite often branded items reflect vanity rather than the search for comfort.

I'd say, comfort yes, vanity no.

reflection 51 (time)

Time

Life is made of time
Every second of time we waste is a second of life wasted.
True? True!

People who have most time have the richest life
People without time have 'no' life
Richness expressed as a matter of time
gives a new dimension to it and makes more sense
than richness expressed in terms of money or possessions

I revisited this reflection and thought of the people who have too  much time.
I guess it is not a matter of quantity of time, all of us have the same amount in a day.
It is really a matter of quality.

Reflection 50 (understanding beauty)

The beauty of not understanding beauty

I can truly enjoy a night sky full of stars. The heavenly lights make a visual spectacle more beautiful than any painting can be.  Often I wonder whether I would enjoy the nightly skies as much if would know all constellations of stars. Somehow I think I my mind would be busy looking for patterns rather than just soaking in the beauty of the whole sky. 

When we were in Oslo, I had an experience that perhaps could answer at least to a certain extent this question. We went to visit Vigaland park. A beautiful park with wonderful trees, large areas of grass and 200 granite statues all made by and under the supervision of the artist Vigaland.

In the morning we went to visit the park by ourselves and we truly enjoyed the beauty of it all. We did not fully understand the meaning of it all but still had a very good time in the park

In the afternoon we had a guided tour in Oslo and the park was part of the tour. The guide was explaining the concept of the artist and was really passionately explaining all emotions that the artist had expressed through his many works that were shown in the park. It gave a new dimensions to it all. It was a completely different experience.

I had enjoyed both, the morning visit and the afternoon visit but the two visits were completely different from each other. So I think now that understanding and knowledge of things of beauty is resulting in a rich experience but is not essential to let us enjoy the beauty.