Assertiveness means to effectively offer your opinion an get what you want.
It is not manipulation, it is not getting angry and using force/authority.
I hope so much my children are assertive.
Polite, but not shy to give their opinion,
to express effectively what they want.
Too many times we tend to be so keen on approval by others,
that we ignore our own feelings and what we really want.
A simple example is when we come out of a movie.
Let's say we really liked the movie and it moved us to tears.
We meet two friends who recently saw the same movie
and they said that the movie was so boring.
How often will we hide our true opinion of the movie?
How often do we not voice out what we want in fear of rejection.
I think too often rejection is met with dejection (sad and depressed feeling)
It is so important to understand:
If our request is not getting a positive reply, we do not get what we want.
If we do not make the request, it is 100% sure that we do not get what we want.
By requesting something, we may get what we want, but it is possible that we get rejected.
If rejected, we are in the same situation as not having made the request.
So why should rejection made us feel any worse than not making the request.
At least now we have tried and we know that simple question will not solve our problem
So, let us think about it.
Let us throw away fear of rejection. Rejection is a normal thing.
But so acception. If we do not ask for sure we do not get.
I remember now the story about a university asking for support from an old lady, mentioned already once in an earlier blog posting here: asking
It is not manipulation, it is not getting angry and using force/authority.
I hope so much my children are assertive.
Polite, but not shy to give their opinion,
to express effectively what they want.
Too many times we tend to be so keen on approval by others,
that we ignore our own feelings and what we really want.
A simple example is when we come out of a movie.
Let's say we really liked the movie and it moved us to tears.
We meet two friends who recently saw the same movie
and they said that the movie was so boring.
How often will we hide our true opinion of the movie?
How often do we not voice out what we want in fear of rejection.
I think too often rejection is met with dejection (sad and depressed feeling)
It is so important to understand:
If our request is not getting a positive reply, we do not get what we want.
If we do not make the request, it is 100% sure that we do not get what we want.
By requesting something, we may get what we want, but it is possible that we get rejected.
If rejected, we are in the same situation as not having made the request.
So why should rejection made us feel any worse than not making the request.
At least now we have tried and we know that simple question will not solve our problem
So, let us think about it.
Let us throw away fear of rejection. Rejection is a normal thing.
But so acception. If we do not ask for sure we do not get.
I remember now the story about a university asking for support from an old lady, mentioned already once in an earlier blog posting here: asking
Confidence in oneself is what often leads to assertiveness.I agree with you in your viewpoints and we as parents can do this by really listening and giving our children the time and freedom to express their viewpoints and to show we value them..this builds self confidence which is a key role in being assertive:)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the beautiful comments filled with wisdom. So true, giving our children love and attention and time is so important.
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